Miss. Steak

Story Sent in by Kenny:

Amanda wanted a steakhouse, so I brought her to a steakhouse. They had about fifty different types of meat preparations on the menu, so when she didn't look at the menu at all and the waitress came by to take our orders and Amanda said, "Steak!" and the waitress asked her to elaborate on what marinade and sides she wanted as well as how she wanted it cooked, Amanda had none of the answers.

"Name your marinades!" she demanded.

The waitress said, "We have about 50 of them listed in the menu."

Amanda repeated, "Name your marinades!"

The waitress did her best. She named about a dozen before she gave up trying to name all 50. She opened up Amanda's menu for her and pointed to the list. As Amanda looked it over, I ordered my meal without any fuss.

Amanda closed her menu by the time I was done and the waitress turned to her.

"All of them!" Amanda said.

The waitress said, "We can't really make a steak with all of them. If you want to pick two, we can combine–"

"All or nothing!" Amanda said.

The waitress replied, "Very good." She took our menus and hurried away.

My meal came precisely as I had ordered it. Amanda's came as plain steak. She was irritated and asked why there were no marinades or sides. The waitress replied, "You said all or nothing," then looked at me and said, "Right?" I had to agree. That was what Amanda ordered, although I was impressed at how gutsy the waitress was to actually deliver on it. Good for her.

Amanda said, "Do you have any steak sauce, at least?"

The waitress pointed to a bottle of steak sauce already on the table, then asked, "Can I grab you anything else?"

"We're good, thanks," I said before Amanda could open her mouth again. The waitress left the table, I believe with a look of relief.

Amanda complained about her steak for most of the rest of dinner, swearing that she'd never go back to that place. I didn't say much in response, as my meal was fantastic. I realized that if she behaved that way about steak, she'd likely behave that same way about other things, so we didn't end up on another date.


  1. I'm sure Amanda demanded to be taken to a steakhouse. Adult toddler, no doubt. I never did much actually dating with strangers, but I think the concept of taking someone out for a walk or coffee/low cost drinks is a good first date. That way you can gauge if its worth actually sitting down to a meal with them.

  2. One plain steak was better than 50 differently marinaded ones.


  3. CEREAL! What kind of cereal? ALL OF THEM! Yeah, that would get old quick.

  4. Although you could use it to your advantage....
    SEX! What kind of sex? ALL OF THEM! Ok, if you say so!

  5. You need to stop getting dates by having your 7-year-old brother pass notes. Did she also need a booster seat to get up to table height?

    Gotta second Catherine Childs, here: DATE THAT WAITRESS!

  6. Nice Connie! Way to bring it back!


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