The House We Used to Live In

Story Sent in by Jamie:

Beth accidentally broke a water glass while we were out to dinner. She apologized to the waitstaff, who were more than polite and forgiving. She repeated that she was embarrassed, the waitstaff and I reassured her over and over. I thought that if things worked out, it would make for a cute story.

After we had both had some drinks, she gave me a hard look and said, "You wanted me to break that glass all along."

"No, but it was an accident, and it's okay."

She said, "A real man would have broken it for me, instead."

I had no idea what she was talking about. I had drank considerably less than she did, so I did the driving, after dinner. She asked to see my old high school, which was the next town over. I drove her to it and she said, "That's your house, not a high school."

It most certainly was the high school. First of all, it was a high school. There was a sign in front that said as much, and the billboard of the school mascot over the athletic fields could be seen from the next town over.

"I'm not going into your house!" she said, "I know what you want. Drive me away from here. Now!"

She started screeching half-words and gibberish, and I drove her back to her car as quickly as possible. She bemoaned how ugly my "house" was the entire way and swore up and down that she'd never go into it.

Finally, when we were about back to her car, she turned to me and said, "I don't like your stupid house because that house tried to kill me, once. I hate it. I always will."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, "Here's your car."

Thankfully it ended there.


  1. Someone introduce this gal to the mighty hunter that wants to serve grass by the light of the full moon.

  2. great idea dropping a drunk girl to her car.

  3. @ Buddy - Good point.

    @ OP - Mazel tov!

  4. YES! My day is now complete, now that I've gotten more sage advice from a crazy b*tch on how to be "a REAL man!"

  5. How does someone that crazy manage to land a date in the first place? There are plenty of normal people NOT dating. I. Just. Don't. Get it.

  6. Snark, she just has to be at least MODERATELY attractive, and willing. Then she'll have her pick of several guys all clamoring to take her out and spend money on her. Craziness does not come into play, at least at first. 'Tis the way of online dating...

  7. Snarkastic, I'm with ya. My friend told me the other day how much he is attracted to crazy women and I wanted to hit him over the head. But then again, I might be a little crazy myself. I will cut a bee - och. And Steve, you already are a real man. ;)

  8. Does this woman scream CHUNKY HORSE SACRIFICE to anyone else??


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