Lunch Is for the Weak

Story Sent in by Sharon:

Joe invited me out to lunch for our first date, and we met for the first time in front of a restaurant, but instead of going in to eat, he said, "Want to go bowling?"

I like bowling, but I had expected to eat, first, and I told him so. He replied that he had eaten a big breakfast and wasn't yet hungry for lunch, so I agreed to go bowling with him.

After a couple of games, I asked him if he was hungry. He said, "No, are you?" I told him I was, and he said, "Maybe we can wait a bit longer. I'm not hungry yet. Let's take a walk."

I replied, "A short walk, and then I want to do lunch."

He said that that would be okay, and we took a walk. After a little while, I said, "Ready for lunch?"

He said, "I'll never be ready for lunch! Never! Why don't we skip it for today?"

I told him, "Tell you what: I'm going to get lunch. You can follow me and provide good conversation if you don't want to eat anything, but I'm starving."

He said, "Those kids in Africa are starving. You can afford to skip a meal."

I said, "Bye," and headed back towards that first restaurant. He followed behind me for a little way, then dropped back further and further until he stopped following me, altogether. I had a very nice solo lunch, mostly nice because he wasn't there, sharing it with me.


  1. Props to the OP. If he knew it was a lunch date, why did he eat a fat breakfast to begin with? And that remark at the end was so uncalled for. Sharon dodged a bullet and the Empire of the @$$hats just crowned its new emperor

  2. Joe actually sounds like a nice guy. Instead of just telling you straight up that you are the size of Rosie O'Donnel, he tried to subtly make you go on a diet and exercise.

    A true gentleman in deed!

  3. If he's a gentleman, I'm a Roman emperor!

  4. Joe's last line was legendary....LEGENDARY!


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