An Expected Journey

Story Sent in by Dan:

Kristie and I were together for four months when she asked me to clear off a weekend: she wanted to surprise me with something. I had no idea what she was planning, and needless to say, I was excited for it. I was crazy about her. The only thing she told me was to be at her place at 7pm that Friday. That I did, and off we went, in her car.

She drove us about two hours west, to a park, and we stopped outside a rustic cabin. What an unexpected, romantic getaway! This would be great. We unpacked the car and settled in to our cozy accommodations.

It needs to be said that this story occurred in winter. As such, the cabin was freezing cold, and as mentioned, it was a rustic cabin. There was a fireplace, and Kristie asked me to start a fire while she unpacked.

That would've been all fine and good, but I didn't have any matches, or newspaper, or wood, or anything really required to start a fire. As I said, I had no idea that we were going to a place wherein I would need to light one.

I asked her if she had any matches, and her response was, "Just rub sticks together." I knew it was possible, but it wasn't something I had done before. Sticks wouldn't have been hard to find, as we were in a forested area, but I also knew that making a fire by rubbing them together only looked easy in cartoons.

I did a search of the cabin for anything helpful, and found nothing. The least I could do, I thought, would be to find a central park office, perhaps, where a ranger or someone would be selling the essentials. Although it was dark, it was easy enough to see the main road by moonlight and so I walked down it, expecting to find that theorized central office.

After walking for a while, I found nothing at all. I opted to return to the cabin, ask Kristie to borrow her car, and drive to find an office, a convenience store, anything.

When I returned, however, Kristie was not alone inside the cabin. A slightly older guy was in there with her, and they were crouched over a fire.

Kristie introduced me to the guy, Herb. While I was away, Kristie found his nearby, occupied cabin, and asked for his help. Herb, who fancied himself a hunter (despite there being copious NO HUNTING signs all over the park), had plenty of firewood, kindling, and matches to spare.

"He came prepared," Kristie said, admonishing me.

I replied, "Because he knew he was coming here. I didn't."

Kristie rolled her eyes at that and asked Herb lots of questions about hunting. To my knowledge, Kristie had not the slightest interest in hunting, but Herb had big arms, and Kristie, I knew, was a sucker for big arms on a guy.

I thought that Kristie and I would have a nice night together, after possibly having dinner with Herb. But Herb opted to overstay his welcome for a further three hours. When finally he left, Kristie went to bed almost immediately. I slipped in next to her and fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning, she was nowhere to be seen. Her car was still there, but there was no Kristie.

I called for her, walked down the road a little ways, and came back, but she was gone. I expanded my search to the woods, and after an hour or so of stumbling about with no real sense of direction, I found, not at all far from our place, Herb's cabin.

The chimney was smoking, so I knew that someone was awake inside. I didn't really want to see him, but I was out of ideas, so I knocked on his door, and he opened it, half-dressed, holding a tin mug. Sure enough, Kristie was inside, cooking over his fire.

"What are you doing here?" Kristie asked.

I replied, "I think I get to ask you that, first."

She replied, "I wanted breakfast, and Herb offered. Go back to your cabin. I'll come by later for my stuff."

I was so stupefied by this statement that I didn't have a moment to respond before Herb closed the door in my face.

So there I was, in the middle of the forest, with my apparently ex-girl-I-was-dating, some dick so-called hunter, and my wits.

I could've remained there and fought for her, but making a snap decision that she wasn't worth it, I returned to my cabin, gathered my stuff (I had packed only one bag), and left on foot. Kristie, I guessed, had the key to her car on her person, and anyway, despite how I was treated, I didn't feel as though stealing her car was warranted. I did, however, clean out most of our food stores that we had brought. After all, I didn't know how far I'd have to walk, and thanks to her new buddy Herb, it looked as though Kristie wouldn't go hungry for anything.

It took me about a six-hour walk to find a nearby small town off a main route, and when I found a service station, I offered one of the mechanics there some money for a lift to the closest larger town with public transport, about another 45 minutes away, by car.

As he drove me, I thanked him profusely and told him my story. When he dropped me off, he just asked to be reimbursed for gas money, as opposed to the initial amount I had offered. "You've had a bad enough time," he said.

Good to know that even out of such crappy situation, human kindness can still make a difference.


  1. Yet another foolish OP who walks around the woods at night, when there are obvious dangers of encountering Chunky Horse... It's almost like a scene out of a bad horror movie or something...

  2. Got to agree with Steve, they were totes going to kill you and hide your body/make it into a tasty stew. Herb was a hunter alright, a hunter of the most dangerous game of all....MAN!

    Really, that's the only explanation I can come up with. Either that or you were dating a total whore bag. At least you knew where you would stand if the Zombie apocalypse came. She'd ditch your ass in a second if she thought someone was slightly more manly than you. You'd just have to content yourself with becoming one of the horde, chasing them through the woods, and eating her alive when she tripped on a branch and Herb left her ass like a bad habit.

    And to answer your question, yes, I do watch too much Walking Dead.

    1. If ever there were a truer time to state "he dodged a bullet". Quite literally.

  3. On another note: Jared, nice job with the story name on the day of the premiere! Were you holding this story back for just such an occasion?

    1. Good catch. Indeed, I do that sometimes.

  4. Replies
    1. I prefer big shoulders, myself.

    2. I prefer big, uh, nevermind...lol.

  5. A REAL man carried a tinderbox with him at all times, just in case he needs to start the odd fire here and there. Herb knows this, and that's why he got laid that weekend, and you didnt.

  6. Also, arsonists carry tinderboxes....just saying.

  7. I kind of love how so many women have the unrealistic expectation that all men are wilderness survivors who should know how to start a fire with nothing combustible or open cans without a knife or can opener. Just because a man has a penis does not mean he's Bear Grylls.

    Perhaps I'm just a cynical ass, but do camping trips or "rustic" retreats ever work out well for couples? It's like if you go, you're just looking for an excuse to dump each other.

    1. Agreed, you might as well get each other's names tattooed on yourselves. Nothing will kill a relationship quicker.

  8. ...or work out and grow your arms, stick-man

  9. I would have flattened her tires for her.

    1. Ah, but Herb probably would have figured on that and had spares all ready for just such an occasion. Y'know, 'cause he comes prepared.

    2. I would have done the same ;-)

  10. Should've figured that you'd do a "Hobbit" reference before I even came here, Jared. :D

  11. I wonder if this wasn't some sort of set up for the OP. Like some romance novel beginning etc. I wonder if she met Herb before and it wasn't some sort of role play. If not there had to be some signs that this girl wasn't a shallow megabitch prior to this. I highly doubt she just started acting like one overnight. Maybe being "crazy" about her blinded the OP about her true personality.

  12. "I could've remained there and fought for her, but making a snap decision that she wasn't worth it.."

    Good work there. Most of us would've waited around another five hours for her to have more sex with the guy before deciding that.


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