The Doctor Is Out

Story Sent in by Lindsay:

On my first date with Steve, at a hotel restaurant, he asked me if I wanted to go back to his apartment to watch porn.

"No thanks," I said.

"But it's cold out," he replied, "What else is there to do?"

I said, "We're in New York City. There are museums and plays and classes and films, and all kinds of things."

He replied, "Yeah, but I wanna watch porn."

"Uh... I'm... I'm sorry."

He said, "Okay. I'll be right back. Wait here."

He left the table, I thought to go use the bathroom. But when he didn't return for 20 minutes, I became suspicious and called him.

He picked up and said, "What's up?"

"Is everything all right? It's been 20 minutes."

"Oh, yeah. Everything's fine. Why?"

"...because you're having dinner with me?"

"Yes!" he said, "Yeah, I am. But I'm heading home to grab something."

"You're going home? Don't you like, live 30 blocks away?"

"I'm just grabbing something. I said I'd be back."

I groaned. "What are you grabbing that's so important?"

He replied, "I'm going to watch porn. I'll be back before–"

"Are you serious?"

"Lindsey, I have a problem! I have... doctors, doctors have told me that I need to, I have a doctor, the doctor, my doctor, he's a doctor, my doctor–"

I had no idea what he was talking about, although he must've hit some sort of record for shoving the word "doctor" as often as he did, into the attempted sentence.

I hung up on him and asked for the check, paid it, and left. He called me once more, but I ignored it.


  1. http://oldjewstellingjokes.com/post/120088584

  2. Jared, stop naming all these weird guys Steve!

    1. Sorry. You're just the first person I think of.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.