Any Other Game

Story Sent in by Dennis:

Genny said in her profile that she was a video gamer. So am I, and so based on that (as well as a few other details, including her pictures - I'm a sucker for dark-haired women in glasses), I wrote her. We had a lively repartee, and we met up for the first time over drinks.

We talked the entire time almost exclusively about games and gaming, and the evening ended with her inviting me over to her house the following day (a Saturday) for some multiplayer (and I hoped, some physical) action.

When I made it to her house, late morning Saturday, she was playing a Call of Duty game in single-player mode.

As I sat next to her on the couch, she asked me if I wanted to order in and split a pizza for lunch. Worked for me. I placed the order and picked up her second controller.

"Give me a sec before you jump in," she said, "Let me just finish this mission."

I gave her a sec. Then a minute. Then 10 minutes. Then I said, "Can I jump in?"

"No. I keep dying, and I want to finish this mission."

It was true. She kept failing the mission. I asked her, "Want some help?"

"You can help by shutting the fuck up."

That was uncalled for, to say the least. I considered leaving on the spot, but realized that a pizza paid for by my credit card was on its way to her house. I kept my mouth shut, hoping that it was just gamer frustration talking.

When the pizza arrived, I cracked it open and started in on it. I hoped that Genny would put down the controller, make nice, and pay me for half the pie. She didn't. I asked, "Want some pizza?"

"Shut up!" she said, her voice quavering. Her eyes remained on her TV-screen battle. She made a break across a narrow alley, and the enemy shot at her.

"No!" she said to the TV, "No, no, no, no! Duck! Duck you asshole! Why can't you duck?"

I swallowed some pizza. "Can I help?"


"Maybe if you had some pizza, you'd have enough energy to stop getting killed."


I said, "Maybe if you didn't suck so hard, you wouldn't keep getting killed."

"Shut the hell up," she said, then grabbed a slice of pizza and engulfed about 75% of it in a single bite.

I asked, "Hey, think I could have the money for your part of the pie?"

She said, her eyes never leaving the TV set, "Once I'm done with this mission. I have to finish the mission."

Given that it might've taken her years to complete the mission, at the rate she was going, I said, "Could you pause it for just a second? Let's have lunch together."

"Get off my back. I'm warning you."

"Can I have the money for your half of the pie?"

"No! No! No! No! No!" she yelled as if she was shot again.

I glanced from her to the TV screen. "You're yelling at a loading screen," I mentioned to her.

She put her controller down, stomped out of the room, returned with a five-dollar bill, threw it into my lap, and plopped down with her controller again.

I finished my part of the pizza, watched her die a few more times, helped myself to some soda from her fridge, then left without a word. I wonder if she'll even remember that I was there in the first place.


  1. The date's behavior was rude and uncalled for. I'm not making excuses for her.

    But OP sounds annoying as hell. A simple, "I came here to play with you, but it looks like you'd rather play by yourself" would have sufficed.

    But no, OP had to keep going on and on. "Lemme play. Lemme play. Lemme play. Wow you suck. Lemme play. Give me money. Lemme play. Give me money." (Seriously dude, it was a pizza, not a five course meal).

    While I probably would have been nicer than Genny about the situation, I wouldn't want to hang out with the OP either.

    1. Well, I know that my attitude is largely affected by the attitudes of people around me. She was completely rude. It was her idea, yet she didn't want to interact with him at all. With an attitude like that, eventually I probably would have had the same reaction as the OP. Why should he polite and quiet, plus give her free food, when she's just going to be an ass? As a gamer myself, I understand that it gets frustrating, but I don't take being treated like that from anyone. I once told my own boyfriend to stuff his attitude, you think I'd put up with it from someone who is basically a stranger? Fuck no.

    2. And wow. I must be really freaking exhausted. Forgive the overuse of "attitude." Haven't had my morning tea yet.

    3. Heh, this comment annoys me in a way that really shouldnt, but alas. The date is essentially a 9 year old with a controller, and OP has to put up with that shit? And what is he supposed to do? Sit there and mildly say "eh... so... eh... can i- no? ok, thats alright, ill wait..oh no, its fine, i'll wait" for the next 2 hours?

      Place yourself in the situation, rather than talk like an armchair general.

    4. I did place myself in the situation. If I were the OP I would have said "I came here to play with you, but it looks like you'd rather play by yourself" and politely excused myself. I wouldn't act like an annoying brat. In the end he came across almost as badly as his date did.

  2. OP came off as a bit of an antagonist, but I have to applaud him for sticking to his guns and not giving away free pizza.

  3. Kinda ironic that many guys would consider a "gamer chick" to be the holy grail... careful what you wish for, fellas!

    Me? I'd rather date someone who does yoga/exercise while I game!

    1. and i bet your date would rather date someone who does yoga/exercise than game.

    2. Seeing as how you've met her, I think we both know this is not the case...

    3. Shhh. I'm not trynna associate with you on here, son. You gonna ruin my rep.

  4. Sorry, "gamers". Finishing a mission is no excuse to treat others like crap. When actual, live human interaction is offered to you and you reject it - keep posting your "forever alone" memes and wonder why you're single.

  5. OPs date was very rude but that doesn't excuse him helping himself to soda from the fridge. Oh and way to be classy hoping for some 'multiplayer action 'on the second date.
    That said, I hope he ate most of the pizza.

  6. Honestly I think the OP should have just waited for the pizza to arrive, taken the entire thing, and left her there without a word. Seems she was contented to be that way.


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