My Hero

Story Sent in by Jenni:

Neil and I had been seeing each other for two weeks and we were on a mid-morning hike in a park where we were the only two people. It was a beautiful, early-spring day, and the sunlight and smells made me feel great.

Plenty of birds were chirping, squirrels were chasing each other about, and a river flowed alongside the path. All was well...

Something shuffled around in the underbrush, just beyond a clump of trees, off the trail. It sounded big. Neil and I froze. I asked him, "A deer?"

He said, "Or a bear, maybe."

Neil took a tentative step forward, and I reached out to grab him back. The whatever-it-was off the path gave a noise that sounded like a grunt, but I still had no idea what it could have been.

Neil gasped, turned to me, grabbed me, shoved me in the direction of the grunting, and shouted, "Eat her! Eat her! Eat her! Eat her!" while running off pell-mell with his arms swinging wildly above his head. "Eat her! Eat her! Eat her! Not me! Eat her!"

I was quick on Neil's heels, but he was faster and he lost me. He had driven both of us to the park, and when I returned to the lot, his car, which had been the only one there, was gone. I called a friend who picked me up and took me out to lunch, and never again did I hear from Neil, my brave knight in shining armor.


  1. You know, sometimes I think people should have a license to date.
    Police officer: "Sir, I'm ticketing you for leaving the scene of a date, and lack of chivalry. Please know that your license to date has been suspended pending sucessful completion of an online course and a viewing of The Notebook."

    1. Isn't that the film in which the male lead threatens to commit suicide unless the girl he has a crush on agrees to go on a date with him? Having never watched the movie myself, only having read about that scene from a Sickipedia joke or something like that, I could be talking complete bollocks. But if it is true, then I'm glad that kind of chivalry is dead.

  2. The prospect of being forced to watch The Notebook would make most people rethink their chivalry.


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