But She Certainly Made it to Crazytown

Story Sent in by Alistair:

Mia appeared a bit nervous during our first date dinner. She would glance away whenever we made eye contact, and she seemed jittery. I had a good feeling that she was nervous, and I went back and forth on bringing it up until I finally asked, "Are you okay?"

She shuddered and said, "Not really."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She replied, "No. I took five Tylenol and now I'm feeling a bit loopy."

I said, "Five Tylenol? That's really dangerous." She nodded. I went on, "I think I should take you to a hospital."

"No, you don't understand," she said, "It's not a bad loopy. I'm not in pain, now. Not anymore." She gave a funny little smile and looked up at the ceiling. "Not anymore…"

"Uh, are you all right?"

She rocked back and forth in her seat a few times, hummed a song, then said, "Now I want alcohol. Will you get me some?"

"No. Are you… what the hell is wrong with you? Let me take you home or to the–"

"No? No?!" she raised her voice to a sharp crescendo, then stood up, bent herself backwards in a funny angle, then said, "To the alcohol-mobile and alcohol-land!"

She fast-walked right out. I still had to pay the check, so I couldn't pursue immediately, but I slammed some cash on the table that more than covered it and ran outside to find her.

It was dark out, and it was also a crowded city sidewalk. She was nowhere to be seen, so I tried her phone. She picked up and croaked, "Hello from searching-for-alcohol-land!"

"Mia, where are you? Stay where you are. Let me–"

"I'm in alcohol-land, sucka!" she said, then hung up.

I stood there, bewildered for a few moments, and then she rang my phone. I picked up. "Hello?"

She said, "I'm still in alcohol-search-land, sucka!" and she hung up again.

I jogged a little up and down the sidewalk, looking for her, but I ultimately had to call it quits. I don't know if she ever made it to alcohol-land.


  1. "Five Tylenol? That's really dangerous."

    Not really. And it wouldn't make you act weird either. If they were extra-strength, maybe she's setting herself up for some long-term liver damage or something, but.. no.

    Unless this was prescription Tylenol with Codeine or something like that, someone's got some BS going here. Like, "Oh, by 'Tylenol' I meant 'vicodin'"

  2. 5 Tylenol don't make you act like that. Wanting to get out of a bad date might.

  3. Yes, she found alcohol-land; she's right over here. I cn giv her a mesaj if yw wnt... ok..

  4. hahahaha! okay! i just don't think that 5 tylenol would do that.

    super funny to post a joke on a (supposed-to-be-funny) website that i read daily and have the editor chastise me.

  5. PS: in the event that i do need to take advil or tylenol, i'll take 4-5 because 2 isn't going to cut it. if i was seeing a guy, and he freaked out over that, i'd still call him a pussy. bam.

  6. That's not chastisement. To chastise means to "rebuke or reprimand severely." It wasn't clear that your statement was a joke, if "joke" is defined as "supposed-to-be-funny."

    Thank you for visiting daily. ABCotD still loves you.

  7. Amy is just excited to drink the kool-aid and call OP a bad date/loser/jerk. OP did the right thing, asking if she needs help and following her to make sure she didn't get herself hurt or killed. It's nice to see guys being considerate of other beings without being pushy or "freak out" over it.

  8. Did OP go on a date with Courtney Love?

  9. LOL I take at least 5 Tylenol just to kill a headache. Of course, I also weigh about 270. Seriously though, about the worst thing 5 Tylenol would do to someone is give them a stomache-ache.

  10. Some people are more sensitive to certain things than others. The dose that could cause serious issues for one person might not have any effect on another person.

    Since she was behaving oddly, OP was right to think maybe 5 tylenol was too much for her. Even though I've been known to take more than that for certain types of pain, she might be more sensitive to it than I am.

    Or, she might have already had a drink or two on top of those tylenol, in which case, even 1 tylenol might be too much for her body to handle.

  11. I don't think that OPs a pussy. What I'm just not understanding is why he would care. It's OK to have a drink beforehand to ease nervousness, but one of the standard rules of dating etiquette is "Don't show up drunk or high." If it was a close friend or somebody I had been dating for a while, I would probably try to track them down and make sure they were OK, but for a total stranger? I'd just tell them "Sure, no problem. You're totally going to get liver damage, but what the hell, I'm not your mom." As long as there's no fallout for anyone else, watching dumb people hurt themselves is funny.

  12. This is the problem with too much alcohol. See to it that your friend has a controlled disorder.

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  13. Pet peeve as a musician: she didn't raise her voice to a crescendo. As any musician knows, the crescendo is the process of increasing volume, not the climax of that process.

    So...she raised her voice, in a sharp crescendo, to an ear-splitting volume? Or something like that?


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