10/30/2011

A Man, Down by the River

Story Sent in by Sadie:

Tim and I were out on our second date, taking a walk by a river. It was chilly out, and he took my arm in his to warm me up. I thought it was a nice gesture, and I didn't see an issue with it.

It was close to lunch time. After we walked on a little bit more, I suggested, "Maybe we could find a nice place to sit down and warm up?"

He stopped short, looked down at our arms, linked together, and he pulled his away. He said, "I think that we're moving a bit too fast."

That was unexpected. "I'm… sorry?"

"Walking all connected like that… too quick for me."

I said, "You were the one who took my arm! Did I say or do something to make you uncomfortable?"

"'Going someplace warm…' I know what that means."

It took me a moment to follow his train of thought. Then, I said, "Eww! That's not what I meant at all! I meant a place to go sit down for hot chocolate or cider or something!"

"Yeah… okay. I…" he struggled for words to say, although I was pretty sure that there was nothing he could say that would regain the quiet magic of a few minutes prior.

He stumbled on, "I… uh… wait right here!" He paused, then said, "Nyuuuh!" and tore away, running pell-mell  away from me, the river, and any chance we had at any sort of relationship.

I ended up at a coffee place by myself, where I tried to forget about him over some steaming cider. When I made it back home, an email from him was waiting for me.

"Dear Sadie: Thanks for understanding. What say we go out next weekend? I'll probably be ready for sex by then. Let me know! I can't wait!"

After reading it a few times to make sure I had read it correctly the first time, I closed it up and moved on with my life.

7 comments:

  1. I feel bad for Tim being crazy and all. Still, I'd love to hear about the first date and how he managed to get a second one.

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  2. I'm wondering how old the OP was that she said "eww!" at the thought of sex. Maybe 14 or so, which would explain the actions of Tim as well.

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  3. I blog about my dating disasters as well. Shame should be shared. Check it out: dailydatingdisasters.blogspot.com or on twitter @DDateDisasters :)

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  4. Picklesinmydatingdisasters?

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  5. A, so a new blogging whore takes up the Pickles mantle.

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  6. See, Dating, the thing is- if what you say here is funny and interesting, people are going to click through on that handy little hyperlink that shows up in your name field. And there, we can see, as you have on your blogger profile, a link to your own site. And if the comments you've left here inspire us to see more of your scintillating wit and inspired take on reality, we'll even click through to your blog! Or if Jared likes your site enough, he'll even add you to the Friends linklist on the right! But as a commenting community, we get REALLY ANNOYED when people leave their site address in the body of the comment. I'm just trying to make your life easier!

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  7. Would it be possible for someone to archive the whole picklesinmyass debacle and put it in the forums or something, so it can be linked to every time some self-advertising spammer comes around?

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