It's Been a Real Slice

Story Sent in by Dan:

Marcy and I talked online for a couple of weeks before we went out for our first date. She asked, "Is it okay if we go to this one place I know that has amazing pizza? You won't regret it. I swear, you've never had better pizza."

I liked pizza, and so we made it a date. It turned out to be one of the hottest days of the summer, and when we both stepped inside the pizza place she had been raving about, the heat was staggering. Also, it was empty.

The hostess came up to us and said, "Our air conditioner's broken. We're really sorry."

I turned to Marcy, thinking that there was no way that she would be okay with sitting in this greenhouse-like heat. Instead, she said, "Are you guys still making pizza?"

The hostess said, "We only have a couple of chicken slices left. They stopped making them a little while ago. It's too hot."

"Woo!" Marcy squealed, "We'll take them!"

The hostess gave Marcy a funny look and replied, "Let me go check them out. Give me a sec."

While the hostess was gone, I said to Marcy, "We can go somewhere else."

Marcy shook her head, "This place has the best pizza. You'll see."

The hostess returned a moment later and said, "Yeah, we just threw them out. They were pretty nasty. I'm sorry. We're probably going to close for the day."

Marcy didn't say a word, but she turned and hurried out. I followed her around to the back of the building, where she tried to open a locked dumpster.

"I can't believe they threw them out," she said, trying the lid over and over, "I'm sure the slices were just fine."

I said, "Marcy, can we please just go somewhere else? There have to be at least half a dozen pizza places on this block."

"I wanted this one!" she shouted, slamming a fist onto the dumpster lid. She stepped back from it.

I said, "Well, I'm going to one of those other places. Come with me if you want."

"I don't want to."

"Then don't."

She didn't, and so I left her there and took out a small pie for myself from another place. You know what else? It tasted great.


  1. As if dumpster diving isn't a valid first-date activity...

  2. ^Dumpster diving for non-edible artifacts can be a sweet adventure. I find it hard to imagine bonding over a dumpster-dived meal though. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

  3. Ooh look at me mister I'm too sophisticated to rummage through a dumpster, high maintenance much? I bet you're one of those hoity-toity folks who like to eat off "plates" and sleep on a "mattress" and uses a belt instead of rope to tie around their pants, pff..

  4. ^You have pants!? I wear sack cloth and have to tie my rope around my waist.

  5. Tom: I've gone dumpster diving on a first date. And posted the story to the site. It was a Goodwill dumpster though, no food, and not on a hot day.


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