TV Dinner

Story Sent in by Henry:

Denise and I had been seeing each other for a few weeks when I invited her over to my apartment. I offered to make her dinner, and she really seemed to like the idea. She offered to bake bread, a salad, dessert, anything at all. I told her to surprise me, and that of course, the most important thing to bring was an appetite.

She showed up with a store-bought, pre-made pie crust with nothing in it. "It's an invisible pie," she offered, then said, "We can break it up and put it over ice cream." Neither of us had any ice cream handy, but I guessed that she had forgotten to make something and had grabbed it last minute. Oh well. I was grateful for the effort.

She then parked herself on my sofa and turned on the television. I was in the kitchen, making soup and chicken. The fact that she didn't come in to talk to me was a bit strange, but I guess it wasn't necessarily expected. Still, we were dating, and I had hoped to spend at least most of the time at my place together.

I walked into the living room and asked her, "Want to come in the kitchen?"

She didn't look away from the TV, but instead hugged a pillow to herself and said, "No thanks."

Maybe she was nervous. I had a bad feeling, but there would be time to think about that later. I had dinner to prepare. I returned to the kitchen and finished it up.

"Dinner's ready!" I told her, hoping that we could finally talk and enjoy each other's company.

"Great," she replied, "You can bring it in here."

"Let's eat in the dining room," I said.

"I'm watching this," she said, pointing to the TV, "You can bring it in here."

I suggested, "We can watch some TV or a movie after dinner. I kind of wanted to talk and spend some time together. Away from the TV."

She groaned as if I had told her that I needed her to cross a parkway full of rush hour traffic. She stood up, picked up the remote, and I was satisfied enough to turn back towards the table I had prepared.

Instead, she pumped up the TV's volume and then followed me inside. I was losing patience and so I turned around, walked past her, and turned the TV off, myself.

"How am I supposed to hear it, now?" she asked.

I replied, "We can have dinner without it."

"I can't," she said, "I want to watch that show."

"I made us dinner."

"I brought us pie!"

"And I'm very pleased with your efforts on that. Can we have dinner now, please?"

She gave me a funny look and repeated, "You're pleased with my efforts? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

I said, "It was nice of you to bring it. Please, let's sit down and–"

"Oh, it was nice of me to bring it? You ungrateful prick. I didn't have to bring anything!"

I tried a different tactic and asked her, "Do you want dinner or not?"

She said, "I'm not so sure if I do, anymore, now that I've seen your attitude."

I nodded, grabbed her pie crust, and opened my apartment door. I was tired of her, and I was going to have a pleasant dinner with or without her. I said, "Then leave. Get out."

Without a word, she grabbed the crust from me and stomped out. I closed the door behind her and had a delicious, homemade dinner all to myself. True, I was alone, but I'm pretty sure that I was better off for it.


  1. You totally missed your chance. When she served the "invisible pie", you should have set the table right then and served "invisible steak", complete with some delicious invisible vegetables on the side. Then offer to pour her a glass of invisible wine. Then shown her the non-invisible door.

  2. Hooray. Someone stood up for themselves that day. Glad you kicked out Princess before dinner! Bravo.

  3. Spoiled brat acted the same way on a date as she would have at home.

  4. But I am the hating of pie!

  5. Sounds like a good date to me...He managed to ditch the spoilt, ungrateful twit he was dating and get good food all to himself.

  6. You should've kept the pie crust as a reward for your patience.

  7. She lost a guy who can cook? Idiot.

    And the best she could bring was invisible pie? What about invisible chocolate cake? Stupid.

    That's right man! Don't let her mooch off your TV. Your the one who has to pay the electric bill anyway.

  8. I would love to hear a rebuttal on this, not because I disbelieve the OP but more because it would be funny.

  9. "Denise and I had been seeing each other for a few weeks when I invited her over to my apartment..."

    This makes me believe the story isn't true. It just makes no sense at all. I want a rebuttal too, but mostly because i think he is not telling us everything

  10. I don't know if you're joking or not, Shattering.

  11. How does that make no sense? They had been dating for a little while and he invited her to his apartment. What is so bizarre about that?

  12. Yeah, not sure how this doesn't make sense. They were probably meeting in public all that time, so he didn't have a chance to see what a couch potato she is when she's not out in public.

  13. Everything about the story seemed copacetic to me as well.

    1. I love that word. Copacetic. Feels good to say.

  14. I think what shattering is trying to say is that since Denise acted like such a child on this date that perhaps the op would have picked up on it on earlier dates. Not always so as maybe she did but he might have interpreted it as her way of being "cute" before now.

    ^PS:Word of the day calender?

  15. ^ what ipdar said.
    If he did in fact interpret it as cute before i am pretty sure he would have mentioned something like:

    "We had great chemistry, always joking around with childish stuff."

    or something like that. It just doesn't make sense to me to date someone for weeks (so at least 2-3-4 dates) and NOT discover they are complete douches...

    @baku, that was not the part I ment didn't make sense. It was that related to the rest of the story

  16. Good points across the board, although to be fair, sometimes people date for years before realizing that the person they're with is a douche.

  17. Classic case of bi-polar or personality disorder, that girl was nuts! I been there, good call kicking her out.

  18. I know that no one will read this, but as someone with bipolar disorder, I want Brett to know that this has none of the symptoms of bipolar. I don't think she was nuts, just spoiled or in a bad mood.


    1. I was just about to comment on that. It's too bad that it's still a stigma. This woman was just a spoiled and inconsiderate brat. The OP sounds like a great catch.

  19. If the thing/show on tv was sooo important for her to see, then she could've said it from the beginning and for sure must knew when it's on?


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