So Much of Me Lies in Your Eyes

Email Sent in by Patrick:

Your pictures have burned onto my retinas. Can you not see how beautiful you are? I must meet you. I've hardly read your profile (though I will go back and do so forthwith!) and had to write you a message immediately.

I love your smile and your dimples! You are so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so beautiful that I will die if you do not write me back.

The last guy I wrote to was back in 2005 and he responded promptly and the two of us went out for a long time together. We lived together and he was my lover. I love being able to say that I have a lover and I hope that you are my next one.

If you don't write me back and I die then you will be blamed for my death. Passive murder is still murder and you will be brought up on extreme manslaughter charges. I know my next lover when I see him and I swear swear swear swear swear swear that you are him. Please be him oh god oh please.


(Patrick says: "She wrote me five more times. I didn't respond to any of her messages. I hope that her end was quick and painless.")


  1. You monster! So callously throwing away this young woman's life!

  2. You monster! So callously throwing away easy poon! Oh wait, that actually makes you a good person in this social climate. Never mind.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.