The Spittin' Image

Story Sent in by Kim:

I was waiting to meet Jeremy for our first date outside of a cafe on a late Saturday morning. He was late, but only by about five minutes when he showed up. However, it wasn't his lateness that struck me.

He walked toward me, down the sidewalk, carrying a translucent glass flask in his left hand. It looked about a quarter full with brown sludge. He stuck a finger in his mouth and rubbed it around. It was then that I realized that he was using chewing tobacco.

We had met online, and he hadn't mentioned that he was a user. It wasn't a complete deal breaker, but it was close, because it grossed me out.

"Hey," he said as he came up to me, then spat a wad into his flask.

"Hey," I replied, "So, chewing tobacco, huh?"

"That a problem?" he asked.

Before I could reply, he reared his head back and spat a generous amount right against my blouse. I was shocked, and I stepped back and screamed. When he laughed, I slapped the smile right off of his face.

"You bitch!" he yelled, "You shitty bitch! What the fuck was that for? Aw, God! Right in the face, too!"

"You spat your shit at me!" I yelled back, "Or did you forget, asshole?"

He said, "You don't go slapping a guy for having some fun! You need to grow up!" he stormed away, down the sidewalk.

"Look who's talking!" I yelled back, loud enough for him to hear. I hurried back home, ripped that shirt off, and took a long shower.


  1. This is a good argument to implement caning as a punishment for spitting.

  2. I would have grabbed the flask and dumped it over his head.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Pardon my lack of eloquence but DUUUDE. Who the fuck does that?

  5. Yay to OP for slapping him.

  6. Y'know what would have been funny? If, immediately after dude spit, she had pulled out a can of Mace from her purse and sprayed him in the face, then apologized in a sarcastic tone and said, "I'm sorry, I might have overreacted."

  7. Does this story get more interesting AFTER she gets in the shower? More! More! More!

  8. Did you ever get the stain out of the shirt?

  9. Actually she could have pressed charges against him b/c spitting on someone is considered assault in most states.

    Also, EWWW chew spit is DISGUSTING. I probably would have thrown up on him before I even had a chance to slap him GROSS!


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