Eyes Wide Open

Story Sent in by Nate:

Julianne and I had been dating for a few months when a friend of mine invited us to a costume party, in which everyone was required to wear a mask.

"This sounds stupid," Julianne told me when I asked her if she wanted to go. "Sounds like a great idea for bunch of little kids."

"It could be fun. It's different," I said to her.

"Then you go. I'll do something else."

This wasn't her putting a guilt trip on me. We did separate things on a regular basis. She'd go out with her friends, I'd go out with my pals, and so on. It was important to me that she have fun with and without me, so although I'd miss her at the party, I didn't feel very guilty about going.

My friend's apartment was not nearly big enough for the scores of people, bumping and sliding against each other, in every corner of every room. It was dark, music blasted, and it was impossible to be heard without yelling your words at the person right next to you. It was great. I thought, "It's a good thing that Julianne didn't come. Where would she have fit?"

There were a lot of people there who I hadn't seen in a long time. We did our best to catch up, but after a few hours, alcohol made that more and more difficult to accomplish. I didn't drink much, but the soon devolved into a rowdy blur.

There was a messy conga line filled with people dancing forwards and backwards. There was a bobbing-for-oranges contest. There was a strobe light that flashed different colors. There were three people in a corner: a girl in a hooded cloak and a swan-like, feathered mask, a guy in black and red face paint, and another guy in a white mask with a black handprint on it. The swan girl made out with face paint guy while handprint mask man kissed the back of her neck. It was, without a doubt, the craziest party I had ever been to.

I made it home close to 3:30 in the morning, and collapsed onto my bed.

A little after four, I woke up. Someone was opening my apartment door. My first thoughts were that it was Julianne. We had keys to each other's places.

"You're here late," I somehow mumbled out, "Had a good night?" She stumbled into my room and turned the light on.

Her face was smeared with makeup. Or face paint. In her hand was a swan mask.

I sat up on the bed. She sat next to me and cried her eyes out. I didn't say anything until she quieted down. Then, I said, "You can stay the night on my couch. We'll gather up your things in the morning and that'll be that."

"You're breaking up with me?" she asked, incredulous.

I replied, "What did you expect?"

She cried more, and I eventually set her up on the couch. She must have repeated, "I love you," about fifty times, but I didn't hear any of them. In the morning, I woke up first, bagged up all of her things that she had at my place in a trash bag, and set it by the door.

When she woke up, she asked if we could talk, and I told her to leave. We haven't spoken since.


  1. A Bad Case of the I was Dating Someone and They Cheated on Me.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. No last 'Swan Dive' before you kicked her out, eh?

  4. props for sticking to your guns

  5. I'm so confused by this. Why was she crying? Where did she come from? Swan-fueled sexfest?

  6. ^ "There were three people in a corner: a girl in a hooded cloak and a swan-like, feathered mask, a guy in black and red face paint, and another guy in a white mask with a black handprint on it. The swan girl made out with face paint guy while handprint mask man kissed the back of her neck."

    She pretended that she didn't want to go to the party, but went anyway wearing a swan mask, so she could cheat on him. What a slapper!

  7. What Antole said. I guess she figured he wouldn't see her there or would be too drunk to remember and put two and two together.

  8. I don't know, it sounds like she just expected him to forgive her, judging by her reaction. She could have just gone to her own apartment and cleaned up, and OP never would have found out.

  9. Maybe she was planning to surprise him there--you know, the old 'I wanted to see if you would cheat on me, but it would be me in disguise' stupidity, but she got confused and drunk and ended up making out with the wrong person. Er. People.

  10. ^this is what i thought

    No excuse though, lady's a HOE

  11. Perfect title for the post, Jared.

    And what momghoti said.

  12. so... she went to the party incognito to see if dude would cheat on her, and would up cheating on him instead? wtfsrsly?

  13. Since none of us really seem to know what's going on, perhaps this is one of those entries Jared should have edited more. <3

  14. The way I understood it, she went to the party having changed her mind, thought that he wouldn't recognize her under her mask, and then, in a moment of complete, drunken, bad judgment, showed up at his place.

  15. Usually, showing up at someone's place drunk and with bad judgment leads to more fun, but what are you going to do?

  16. It's very appropriate that he put her stuff into a TRASH bag.

  17. If she had never come to his house, he never would have known she was the swan-hoe!


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