Paper Beats Sanity

Story Sent in by Mandy:

Charles and I had been out on one date already. Although we met online, he seemed nice, polite, and normal.

That changed on our second date, when he offered to pick me up at my place to take me out to dinner and drinks. At the time we had arranged, he came to my door and I opened it up to find him standing there with a ream of paper.

"Happy anniversary," he said.

I didn't take the paper and asked him, "Of what?"

He said, "This is our first date anniversary: our second date. The first anniversary gift is traditionally paper."

I took the paper and said, "Thanks."

"Paper for our first anniversary!" he repeated.

"Yes. Ready to go?"

He groaned and said, "You could at least wish me a happy anniversary, too."

I replied, "I don't really consider a second date the 'first anniversary' of anything. Sorry."

He asked, "So you didn't get me anything?"


"I got you paper."

"You did."

He nodded, then looked away from me, as if deep in thought. He finally said, "I need some time to process this. May I go?"

I said, "Sure."

He left, and since then, I haven't heard from him.


  1. That could have been clever if he played it off as such... but no.

  2. Trolling on the second date

  3. 500 Sheets to the Wind ... Or ... Reem Me a New One on Our Anniversary...

  4. If you'd managed to hold out to a 3rd date, the next gift is cotton. It probably would have been a bag of cotton balls.


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