I Know it Was You, Fredo

Story Sent in by Tim:

Lindsey and I were friends in college.  We went out for lunch, teased each other about our respective majors, and had movie nights in each other's dorm rooms.  I was also very attracted to her, but I was too shy to let on about that.  At least, for our first year and a half of hanging out.

One movie night, though, during early junior year, we were next to each other on her couch at her apartment.  I shifted position so that I gently brushed up against her.  She didn't move away.  Good sign.  I slowly, slowly, slowly slid my arm around her and scratched her shoulder lightly.

She turned to me.  Now or never.  I kissed her.  It was awesome.

She smiled and leaned against me for the rest of the movie.  Game, set, match, right?

Not exactly.  After the movie was over, she stood up and said, "You have to go, now."

That was unusual, as we usually talked about the movie over ice cream afterward.  However, I also didn't usually kiss her.  I stood up and asked, "Is everything okay?"

She nodded and said, "Yes, you just have to go.  I'll call you."

I left, thinking that I had likely confused her or otherwise messed things up.  Still, it was hard to feel a regret for achieving something I had wanted for so long, even though that thing was so short-lived.

I didn't hear from her the next day or the next, which was also unusual.  I told myself that I'd give her a week, then I'd shoot her an email.  The week went by, and off the email went.

She wrote back almost at once: "Hey Tim!  Where have you been?  I was worried when I didn't hear from you!"

At our last encounter, she did say that she'd call me, and I mentioned that in my reply: "You said you'd call.  Is everything okay?  I'm sorry if I messed things up."

She wrote back, "Why don't you come over tonight?"  Nervous and excited, I took her up on the offer.

She had ordered in Chinese food.  We sat next to each other on her couch and she caught me up on everything she had been up to over the past week.  I did the same, and for a couple of hours, we shot the breeze.

Finally, at the most opportune moment I could find, I said, "Hey, about last week, I'm sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable."

"What happened last week?" she asked.

"I kissed you while we were watching The Godfather."

She stood up and said, in a near-replica of last week, "You have to go, now."

I remained seated and said, "Lindsey, can we talk about this?  I'm sorry if I somehow hurt you.  Would you prefer that I don't bring it up again?"  Keep in mind that she was my friend for a while, and that I wasn't about to lose her without at least trying to hold things together.

She said, "It's late.  You really have to go.  I'll call you."

I asked, "If I don't mention it again, can I stay?  I'll forget it happened."

She said, "You have ten seconds to leave.  Ten…"

She made it to "three" before I stood up to go.  I left and she slammed the door behind me.

Thinking that I had irrevocably damaged our friendship, I wrote her an email to apologize and to let her know that she could contact me whenever she wanted to.

She wrote back immediately: "Hey Tim!  Great to see you tonight!  When are we hanging out again?"

At that point, I was the one who needed time.  I figured that it was best to never mention the kiss or try anything with her again.  After a few days, we organized a dinner meet-up at a nearby cafe.

At dinner, we caught up, talked, and everything was as it was, before I had ever tried anything with her.

Then, after a conversation pause she said, "You kissed me."

Unsure of where she was going with it, I said, "Yes."

She replied, "Just making sure," then stood up and said, "I'll call you.  I have to go," and she left, just like that.

After that, I didn't email her, she never called, and I haven't heard from her from that day to this.


  1. "it was hard to feel a regret for achieving something I had wanted for so long, even though that thing was so short-lived."

    Well said, sir. And yes, I know that when taken out of context, it can refer to something else. Honestly, you guys are 12-year-olds.

  2. Dating Identical Twins {and or psychotics} can, sadly, lead to confusion.

    Year and a half to kiss someone ?!?! JMG may have over estimated your age....

  3. Did she just . . . forget until he brought it up? What the heck?

    This seems like some kind of deeper mental problem. That or she was uncomfortable with the romantic aspect of the relationship and thought that if she ignored it until it was brought up it would go away. But then . . . why the instant cheerful friendly replies?

  4. Why the hell do so many writers on this blog use the phrase "from that day to this"? Jared, is this your editorial doing? I HATE that phrase. It needs to be stopped.

    Only phrase I hate more: "It is what it is." I've forced people to stop saying that and replace it with "Stop. Hammertime." instead.

  5. I think she didn't want the relationship, and was hoping they could just be friends, if he dropped the issue and pretended it never happened?

    I don't think making a move on a girl after knowing and being really good friends with her, for over a year, is a smart move. Despite a few recent romcoms

  6. ^ I was good friends with my current boyfriend for years before we got together. Worked out well for us. Friendship is an important part of love.

    That said, it's super stressful to tell a friend that you have feelings for them. You have to want a relationship with them enough to risk the friendship.

  7. @Claire the Basilisk:

    This one came in that way. Some do, some don't. Seems like a decent way to end a story, along with, "I haven't heard from her since then," or "I never heard from her ever again." It is what it is.


    (I knew you'd troll me, Jared. Thank you for living up to my expectations. <3)

  9. aaf1261e - I agree that it probably wasn't very smart to do that, and your guess about her motivations was probably correct.

    But you have to admit, she didn't handle it brilliantly herself, if we're believing OP's story. The first time they met up afterwards he specifically apologised for it: then would have been a golden time to say "Well, let's forget it ever happened and not bring it up again", rather than just shutting the conversation down and hoping he'd take the hint that the subject should not be mentioned.

    The second time around *she raised the subject herself*, which is just nonsensical if her intent was to make sure it was never mentioned again. Unless it was some sort of test which he failed by acknowledging it rather than pretending it didn't happen. But in that case, it's kind of an unfair test - you can't go raising a subject and then decide people have failed it just because they acknowledged that you did, in fact, raise the subject.

    No, on the whole something doesn't add up. There's got to be something deeper going on here. Either she's really, really uncomfortable with any kind of romantic interaction, or OP isn't telling us the whole story. At the moment I don't know which is more likely.

  10. I've learned from the best.

  11. My guess is that she was once kidnapped by a gang of hypnotists. They cruelly experimented on her for several weeks and then made her forget the entire ordeal -- with one catch. Thinking about kissing would be the trigger that brought those painful memories crashing back, to haunt her until someone sent her an email (the trigger to make her forget again). They entertained themselves for quite a while with this. Simply watching a romantic comedy would send her into a spiral of depression before one of them took pity on her and sent her some viagra spam. And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for OP.

    Because he didn't email her the third time, Lindsey had time to recover from her recalled experiences and alert the authorities. The net is now closing on the sadistic hypnotists, and justice will soon be served thanks to Lindsey's courage and OP's heroic ability to know when to quit.

  12. ^ Sounds like a really lame movie plot. :-)

    But since I tend not to like films that end up as the favorites of the masses, it would probably make tons of money.

  13. I really liked this story I found it visual and entertaining

  14. I was thinking "this woman was abused as a child" while I was reading that - the quick shift into "you have to go now" gave me that odd vibe.

    The fact that OP is on the friend ladder would also apply too, if you want a simpler explanation.

  15. She reminds me of my best friend's mother..one moment she snaps and the next she's all smiling and giving her money


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