Who I am and what I'm looking for:
Hey! I'm a smart, savvy, (and dare I say) sexy fellow who works as a research librarian! I love comedies (both movie and written) and have performed stand up!
Now on a serious note: I am seeking someone who actually listens when I talk. I am tired of being ignored non stop. If during the course of our date I get the feeling that you are not listening to my words, then there will be a brief curt exchange and I will leave you to mop up the residuals, whatever they may be. You will listen or the date will be over! It's just that simple!
Please be a church goer. I seem to get along well with them.
Last part makes complete sense. Church goers have good practice listening to some boring jerk go on and on for hours on end.
ReplyDelete^ I see what you did there.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you're a young enough church-goer, those residuals might be sticky...
ReplyDeleteSomehow I doubt he was a successful stand up comedian...
ReplyDeleteThat's awful kind of you Howie, but comedians can take heckling.
ReplyDelete^ true Churro...but this guy doesn't sound like he can take it if you don't pay attention to him.
ReplyDeleteGod forbid you get up to 'pinch a loaf' or order a whiskey sour while he's in the middle of his set...
Haha, well put. A thin skinned comedian is really asking for it. Not sure if our fellow from the story is one, but I'd say the signs are there...
ReplyDeleteWhy do I get the feeling he's the sushi guy from this story (http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2011/06/aho.html)?
ReplyDeleteResearch librarians - unless they're women who are willing to take off their nerdy glasses and let loose their long, shimmering hair - are NEVER sexy.
ReplyDeleteNikki - you're totally right. Even the OP tried to sell that half-heartedly. Now that I re-read his post, the brief mention of comedy at the beginning (with no details) followed promptly by his "serious issue," is like a preemptive disclaimer to say, "I'm not completely humorless"... as if, you know, maybe that had been a problem before...
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ReplyDeleteIf you find yourself repeatedly being ignored by people, chances are it's because you're incredibly boring. Him being a research librarian supports this hypothesis.
ReplyDeleteHe's probably the type who brings up his World of Warcraft character in casual conversation and is just SHOCKED that folks doze off when he tells the tale of how he raided the dwarven spire and got the rare glowing boots.
Hey ^! Don't knock the rare glowing boots!
ReplyDelete[knockin' boots, get it?]
They're really, really hard to get! I had to borrow my mom's credit card and purchase the Level 17 Underpants of Valor before I was able to get them!