Happy Unbirthday

Story Submitted by Emil:

I wrote to Sia online, we talked for a while, and I offered to take her out on a date.  "How's Friday, the fifth?" I asked her.

"That's great," she said, "And it's my birthday!"

I asked her, "Really?  In that case, we can schedule the date for another night, if you'd rather spend the day with friends and family."

"No, no, no.  I want to go out with you," she said, and I took it as a compliment.

We went out to a nice dinner, and I paid for it.  She asked me, "Are you sure?"

I replied, "It's your birthday. Of course I'm sure."

Afterward, we went out to ice cream, and I insisted on paying for that, too.  She was grateful, and after the date, we went our separate ways.  I thought that it went well, and she sent me a friend request on Facebook a day later.

When I glanced over her profile, I noticed that her birthday was down as June 14th, a few months away.  I wrote her an email and asked, "I couldn't help but notice that your profile lists your birthday as June 14th.  You told me it was this past Friday."

She replied, "My birthday is June 14th.  I guess I just wanted to make sure that you'd take good care of me."

I wrote back, "By that you mean, 'pay for everything'?"

She wrote back.  "Kinda.  Yeah."

I might have been a bit old-fashioned, but I likely would have offered to pay for everything regardless of whether it was her birthday or not, as it was a first date, and that's what I normally do.  Still, I don't like being tricked or manipulated, so I didn't contact her again after that, although she sent me two apology texts a week or so later.


  1. Ask for the birth certificate next time. Make sure it's the long-form, because otherwise it's just a fabrication.

  2. Red Flag Day.

  3. **What did she THINK would happen?

    Yes, let's found this potential relationship on dishonesty. Good plan.

  4. In unrelated news, I have cancer*. Please send me money via PayPal.

    *I do not really have cancer. At least not that I know of. Please send money anyway.


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