Bear With Me, Here

Story Submitted by David:

My Internet date Mary and I were out on a first date in the late morning in a small suburb.  I thought that we could take a brisk nature walk, then have some lunch.  There were quite a few paths off the main street that snaked around the town, passing through woods, streams, and fields.

I led her to one and took a few steps when I noticed that she remained behind.  I turned to her to see what the problem was.

"I'm not going in there," she said, "There might be bears."

I replied, "I don't think there are any bears around.  Let's go."

She shook her head.  "There are probably bears in there.  My uncle was killed by bears."

"What?  Really?"

She said, "No, but I'd be sad if he was, and he'd be sad if I was, so I don't want to go in there."

I thought that she was being foolish, but I didn't see a point to arguing any longer, so I said, "All right, then.  Are you hungry for lunch?"

She nodded quickly, and I said, "Okay, I know a good place."  I led her to an Italian restaurant and asked her, "Will this work?"

She squinted through a window and shook her head fast, like a five-year-old.  I asked, "What's wrong?"

She replied, her face serious, "I'm not going in there.  There could be bears."

I smiled, although I was quickly losing patience.  I opened the door for her and said, "After you."

She backed away and said, "I said I'm not going.  It's an enclosed space and bears can get me there."

I closed the door and raised my voice.  "It's a restaurant!  There are no bears in restaurants!"

She said, "You don't know!"

A million responses flashed through my head, most of which boiled down to asking, "Are you insane?"  I held my tongue and instead went for the saccharine route.

I asked, "Would you feel better if I went in to check if there were bears?"

She nodded quickly.  I went inside, walked up and down the rows of tables, checked behind the counter, and told the host that I'd be back in just a moment.

When I returned outside, she was gone.  I didn't bother contacting her.  I guess the bears got her.


  1. People sure come up with interesting ways to get out of a date. I think OP was ditched.

  2. Yeah, sounds like A Bad Case of Couldn't Think Up A Better Excuse.

  3. Feels more like a bet to me.

  4. I can't believe she just disappeared after inventing a lame excuse, if she wanted to end the date all she should've done was just trip, stumbled head-over-heels and tumble awkwardly down a hill, hit her head against a door and slip on grass landing on her tailfeather. If that didn't get the message through only then should she have said that she was trying to end the date. Unexpectedly disappearing is just rude.

  5. It's the Colbert offensive move. Well researched and to be used in extreme situations.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.