Bear With Me, Here

Story Submitted by David:

My Internet date Mary and I were out on a first date in the late morning in a small suburb.  I thought that we could take a brisk nature walk, then have some lunch.  There were quite a few paths off the main street that snaked around the town, passing through woods, streams, and fields.

I led her to one and took a few steps when I noticed that she remained behind.  I turned to her to see what the problem was.

"I'm not going in there," she said, "There might be bears."

I replied, "I don't think there are any bears around.  Let's go."

She shook her head.  "There are probably bears in there.  My uncle was killed by bears."

"What?  Really?"

She said, "No, but I'd be sad if he was, and he'd be sad if I was, so I don't want to go in there."

I thought that she was being foolish, but I didn't see a point to arguing any longer, so I said, "All right, then.  Are you hungry for lunch?"

She nodded quickly, and I said, "Okay, I know a good place."  I led her to an Italian restaurant and asked her, "Will this work?"

She squinted through a window and shook her head fast, like a five-year-old.  I asked, "What's wrong?"

She replied, her face serious, "I'm not going in there.  There could be bears."

I smiled, although I was quickly losing patience.  I opened the door for her and said, "After you."

She backed away and said, "I said I'm not going.  It's an enclosed space and bears can get me there."

I closed the door and raised my voice.  "It's a restaurant!  There are no bears in restaurants!"

She said, "You don't know!"

A million responses flashed through my head, most of which boiled down to asking, "Are you insane?"  I held my tongue and instead went for the saccharine route.

I asked, "Would you feel better if I went in to check if there were bears?"

She nodded quickly.  I went inside, walked up and down the rows of tables, checked behind the counter, and told the host that I'd be back in just a moment.

When I returned outside, she was gone.  I didn't bother contacting her.  I guess the bears got her.