What's Bugging Her?

Story Submitted by Miguel:

Beverly and I met at a trivia night at a local bar.  After the game, we talked for an hour and she gave me her number.  A day or two later, I called her and asked her out to dinner.

The meal went satisfactorily until in the middle of a conversation about pets, she pounded her fist several times on the table, making my heart jump into my mouth.  She remained staring at me, with her fist on the table.  I broke the silence with, "What was that about?"

She said, "I saw a bug crawling towards you."

I looked at her fist and she frowned at it.  I asked, "Did you get it?"

"I don't know.  I'm kind of grossed out and don't want to look."

I said, "How about if you look away and I check?"

She nodded, looked away, and I checked under her fist.  Nothing was there, and I told her so.  She glanced back and said, "I know I saw something.  What did you do with it?"

I replied, "Nothing.  There was nothing there."

She said, "I definitely saw something.  You took it away.  Afraid I'd emasculate you or something."


She went on, "I protected you from a bug, and you have to maintain your masculinity, so you pretend that there was no bug."

"But there was no bug."

"Are you saying that I was seeing things?"

Pause.  Then, "Yes."

She said, "Or maybe you planted a bug there.  Maybe this was all planned on your part."

"It wasn't."

She banged on the table with her other fist.  "There was a bug!" she shouted, "Say there was a bug!"

"Okay.  There was a bug."

"Do you mean it?"


She turned away from me and shouted, "Check please!" into the restaurant, then turned back to me and said, "I can't believe you.  You're not even worth spending another minute with."

I didn't say a word.  The check came, we split it, and she bolted out of there faster than a centipede on fire.  Not just over a bug, but over a bug that didn't exist.


  1. Some days it seems to me as if lots of people out there are losing their grip on reality...

  2. I love how she makes a big deal over "protecting" him from the alleged bug, like it was a poisonous tarantula or something.

  3. Feeling bugs where they don't exist is supposedly one of the systems of meth addiction. How did her teeth look?

  4. symptoms, I mean.


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