Those Aren't Hickeys

Email Submitted by Ryan:

How long have you been single for?  Why did your last relationship end?  If it was your fault, what did you learn?  If it was her fault, what could you have done better? 

My last boy treated me like garbage.  Where to begin?  He was a total asshole who called me names, made fun of me, tried to trip me all the time, and push me into quicksand (we were at a zoo).  I will personally eat any boy who treats me like that again.  Alive.  No quick death, no mercy, just me, some bites, and then he will be eaten by me.  I don't want to but I must admit I've always been the curious type.....

I'm sure I won't eat you, though.  After all, you're a nice guy and nice guys don't get eaten.  UNLESS they piss me off.

Have a nice day!



  1. Reminds me of that dream sequence in "Cursed" where Christina Ricci takes a huge chunk out of a guy's neck and the blood sprays out like a fire hose.

  2. This ---> If it was your fault, what did you learn? If it was her fault, what could you have done better?

    made me want to stab her in the goddamned eye.

    Oh, btdubs, Alison? I don't know what zoo you went to, but I'm pretty sure they legally aren't allowed to have quicksand where visitors can die.

  3. Perhaps her ex was smarter than we give him credit for and was trying to rid the world of her bitchiness?


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