4/21/2011

The Shameless Algorithm

Email Submitted by Leora:

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ATTENTION!
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YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.  THIS IS NOT A PHISH ATTEMPT.  PLEASE REPLY WITH:

1. PASSWORD HINT (DON'T FORGET TO NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR PASSWORD ITSELF).

2. OUR SIGN-IN PROCESS INCLUDES A CALL TO YOUR WEBCAM TO SILENTLY TAKE A PHOTO OF YOU WHILE SETTING UP AN ACCOUNT.  THIS IMAGE IS THEN STORED SAFELY ON OUR SERVERS.  TO VERIFY YOUR ACCOUNT PLEASE SEND A FRESH PICTURE OF YOURSELF SHOWING AS MUCH HUMAN SKIN AS POSSIBLE FOR ALGORITHM VERIFICATION PURPOSES.

PLEASE DO THIS WITHIN 24 HOURS OR FACE ACCOUNT DELETION!

Jack
ACCOUNT RETREIVAL SPECIALIST


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(Leora says: "You'd think that a site with such technology at its disposal would realize that it's impossible to attach a file within the site's own email client.")
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6 comments:

  1. JMG4/21/2011 8:19 AM

    Or know how to spell "retrieval" correctly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. B. Thayer4/21/2011 9:16 AM

    "PLEASE SEND A FRESH PICTURE OF YOURSELF SHOWING AS MUCH HUMAN SKIN AS POSSIBLE"

    They didn't say it had to be YOUR skin.

    It puts the lotion in the basket.

    ReplyDelete
  3. theMediator4/21/2011 9:48 AM

    Send a picture of Leatherface.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4/21/2011 12:14 PM

    B. Thayer read my mind

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4/21/2011 1:10 PM

    The sad thing is that there were at least a few idiots who fell for this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Plum Jo4/21/2011 10:48 PM

    I wonder why he specified "human" skin. Too many pictures of hairless cats and those Chinese Cresteds?

    ReplyDelete

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