A Eugenic Personality

Email Submitted by Patrick:

Hi Patrick-

Thanks for your message.  I'm from a big family (six brothers and sisters NOT including me) and seeing all of them as often as possible is very important to me.  I want a big family of my own.  Strength in numbers! :D

I'm at the peak of my condition and am on here to find a lifemate.  It might be you.  It might not.  First though you need to understand and help me with something:

I'd like my future kids to have the best life that they possibly can.  As such, would you mind forwarding to me (however painful it might be - it's important) the ages and ways of death of any family members going back to grandparents at least?  I want to make sure that there aren't undesirable genetic issues in your family that would thus make us incompatible.  Nothing personal - I know you can't control your own genetics!  But better to find out now if you have flaws, yes?

So if you could write me back with that info that would be great.  Thank you!



  1. Dear Brenda,

    I too want to give my potential future offspring the best possiblee chance of a healthy, happy life. Thank you for letting me know of the undesirable outlook issues in your family that would make us incompatible. Something peronal- I know you can control your superiority complex! But better to find out now that you have flaws, yes?


  2. Did I mention my great-grandfather Adolf?


  3. I dated a eugenicist once. Surprisingly, he was even less subtle about his belief in genetic superiority than Brenda. But GODDAMNED the oral sex was good.

  4. ^ funny...he said having sex with you was like banging your great-great-great grandmother...
    a dead lay! hee hee

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. She could just do what the ancient Egyptian royalty did to keep the bloodlines pure: inbreed.

  7. Actually, Howie, we never got to have sex b/c his ADHD medication made his dick unable to stay erect. I once gave him an hour-long blow job just to get him to come once in our relationship.

  8. My family is so German that I actually *have* a grandpa Adolph. And he fought for Allied forces in WWII. I imagine his moniker made things kind of complicated....

  9. ^^ Your fiance is a lucky, lucky man, Nikki!

  10. My uncle said a similar thing to me when I got engaged.

    "Now Taco, you know our family line doesn't have much disease in it. Before you go through with the marriage, you should really get to know her family history and make sure her relatives don't all die from the same genetic diseases. You don't want to bring that into the Dave family or pass it on to your kids, do you?"

    We've been happily married for almost 13 years, so he can shut his face.

  11. Nikki: Some people would count oral sex as "having sex"

    1. some people would. some people wouldn't.

  12. Dear Brenda,

    You first. Oh, and at least as far back as great-great-grandparents, with any available medical records. I must have a high level of certainty that you are not flawed.

    I await your documentation,

  13. She said so herself, "she has a condition". Now what exactly this condition is, is debatable. I vote for insanity. Anyone? Anyone?


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