Perhaps HE'S That One Person

Email Submitted by Susan:

Hey hey!

I'm very impressed with anyone who's as acrobatically flexible as you seem to be.  Also, I'd love to hear your dinosaur impersonation!

My turn to list my own stupid human tricks?  I thought you'd never ask!

-Can impersonate a seagull
-Can do a handstand
-Can hold breath for almost 90 secs
-Can fart the ENTIRE national anthem
-Can speak three languages

I've got more, but these are the g-rated ones ;)


(Susan says: "I'm not sure about the circumstances that would need to be in place in order for me to beg this guy to fart the national anthem, but at some point, I guess that one person must have found it impressive, otherwise why list it?")


  1. Because boys think farts are funny and impressive. Like no one else in the world can fart a lot.

  2. Boys may think it...but us men KNOW It!

  3. Another one of those things that under no circumstances should be brought up, ever.

    ...I can fart the ENTIRE national anthem...
    ...I'm sexually attracted to my sister...
    ...I'm known as ManGoat of the Mountain...

    See? Instant dealbreakers.

  4. Reminds me of that South Park episode with the giant poop: "You just don't get it; it's a guy thing!"

  5. Also did he just refer to her acrobatic flexibility & dinosaur impersonation as "stupid human tricks"?

  6. As he did for his ability to do handstands and speak three languages. I would have written back... even if it was to find out a) if he was human; and b) how crazy his e-mails got.

  7. I dunno, seeing as Susan sees fit to list 'dinosaur impersonation' as a notable achievement on her profile, she should expect weird responses.

    Who knows, maybe she impersonates dinosaur farts?

  8. I'm afraid to know what the non g-rated talents are.

  9. @Sawyer

    May not be as bad as you think. Guinness World Records has an entire section devoted to exactly that: "Stupid Human Tricks".

  10. I believe this dude should go see a gastroenterologist. Who on earth has enough gas in his system to fart the entire national anthem?


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