I Lactate in Fear

Email Submitted by Stephen:

Hi I'm Greta.  You list a bunch of my favorite movies and all comedies.  Did you know that I'm studying comedy to perform?  I will tell you a joke or two..:

Men and women can't get along and this sucks!  Especially as their made for each other!

Why do men even have nipples?  Hahahahaha!

By the way everything I wrote above is copywrighted.  If you use any of it without my express permission then you WILL be sued!  As an example I have already pressed two suings against guys on this site for stealing my words.  Don't make their mistakes and don't commit infringement!  I will sue you and your nipples.



  1. I belly laughed out loud. Awesome title.

  2. WTF? Can someone American pls explain to me why (nearly) every threat involves being sued? Here in SA you will just be threatened with a savage beating...

  3. For those who don't know: from my understanding of science (I AM engaged to a scientist after all...which is says is NOT a valid claim to be an expert about science), men have nipples b/c all zygotes start out as girls.

    *comet* The more you know!

  4. @Ben

    Because hundreds of thousands of dollars being paid to you by an insurance company sounds way better than being sued yourself for assault?

  5. lol ok. it just seems like american's sue for everything. probably a generalisation, but thats just how you guys are portrayed to the rest of the world.

    i think the reason ppl dont sue in my country is because it would take you years before it even ended up in court, by which point the file would have been lost by the policy, or the judge would be bribed. *sigh*

  6. Ben, I don't know if everybody DOES sue, but everyone sure throws the term around!

  7. @ Nikki:

    "The brain itself is basically female until hormones act on it to make it structurally male. So, in reality, all men are modified females. Where do you think those nipples came from, guys? You're an afterthought."

    - George Carlin

  8. ^^ Agnes, that is a very general statement... not 'everybody' throws the term around.. and I'll sue you if you don't retract it NOW!

  9. Holy s#!t hilarious, pretty sure an English teacher loses a tiny part of their soul everytime an email like this goes out.

    Nikki being engaged to a scientist is equivalent to like a Master's so that makes you kind of an expert. I have a Ph.D cause I know a few, but from the series I watch I'm practically qualified to perform complex surgeries (& exorcisms), practise law, be a vampire, travel through time on an Island, halt alien invasions and to be Dexter.

    And Ben it seems like in American you can sue anyone for anything, anytime.

  10. "And Ben it seems like in American you can sue anyone for anything, anytime."

    You can. Doesn't mean the judge won't laugh at you before he boots your case out of court.

  11. ^ Assuming that it even gets to a judge.

  12. Howie, I retract my statement, because I need all $3 to stay in my bank account rather than be paid in fines. TERROR!!!!!!!!

  13. I thought men had nipples for pleasure...

    Did I say that out loud?

  14. and this is why TacoDave is getting invited to Kinkfest

    But in all seriousness, men can lactate too, just, need the right stimulus.

    That fact, along with turning chickens into velociraptors, and transplants to give monkeys working bat wings, are the things the cool scientists work on.

    Yes, all legitimate funded research that stuff

  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

  16. ^ Nice to know our tax dollars are going towards such important work. My favorite was when I read that some scientists discovered that some type of fish communicate by farting. Of course, it was given some long scientific name (since "Fart Communication" wouldn't get much funding.)

  17. OH! And talk about physics, comic books, computer/video games, engineering, and the Cheesecake Factory.


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