Paint With All the Colors of the Ice

Story Submitted by Dinah:

John and I met online.  He was quirky, and I liked his sense of humor.  At one point or another, we made it onto the subject of ice cubes, and how plain they always were.

John said, "People only ever freeze water.  How come no one ever freezes juice into ice cubes or soda?  Can you imagine water with Sprite or Pepsi ice cubes?"

I replied, "It would probably end up tasting like watered-down juice or soda."

"No way," he said, "When we meet, I'll bring some different ice cubes and we can experiment."

We met up at a cafe on a Saturday morning, and he brought along a small cooler with three trays of ice cubes.  He had made juice ice cubes, soda ice cubes, and ice cubes colored with food coloring.

In addition to our meals, we ordered three waters apiece (with no ice) in order to experiment.  The whole thing was silly, and it attracted the attention of a waitress who wasn't our server.  She was around our age, and she came over to our table to ask us what we were doing.

John stared at her without a word, but I explained our experiments to her.  She said, "Cool!  What a good idea."

She glanced at John and he said to her, "You are so fucking beautiful."

Both the waitress and I looked at him.  She laughed slightly with some discomfort, and I cleared my throat.  He knelt on the floor in front of her, took her hand, kissed it, and said, "I've never seen someone as beautiful as you are.  What's your name?"

She glanced at me, looked back at him, said, "Lana," then took her hand away from him, and said, "I'm going to go ahead and check on your order."

She slipped by him and disappeared into the kitchen.  He watched after her, then turned to me solemnly and said, "That's the woman I'm going to marry."

I asked him, "Are you crazy?"

He said, "I know it in my heart and soul."  He smiled at me.  "And you were here for our meeting.  You'll be mentioned in our wedding speeches.  'I was on a date with another woman when I met her...'"  He looked at me, as if I'd swoon at his romanticism.

I didn't.  I asked, "You're kidding me, right?"

He said, "I've never been more serious.  I want her, and I will have her."  He stood up and followed her into the kitchen.

I looked around, wondering in vain if this was all some sort of hidden camera prank.  He returned a moment later with a big grin.  "Got her number," he declared, then said, "Of course, this breakfast is on me.  It's a celebration of all things good in the world, like food, and fun with friends," he gestured toward me, "and love," and he looked at the kitchen.

I asked him one more time, "Are you being serious, now?  I mean, really serious?"

He said, "Oh, make no mistake: I'm marrying Lana."

I said, "I'm just going to head off, then.  Good luck to both of you."

He drank some of his water and said, "Yes, good.  Very, very good."

I left him there with his colorful ice cubes and his dreams.  Last I checked, he still has an active profile up on the dating site.


  1. John sounds pretty cool, at least by ABCOTD standards. His ice cube idea isn't all that new though, it's pretty common for parents to make juice cubes for kids.

  2. ^ He sounds more like one of those psychotic people who fall in wuv at first sight and are WAY too clingy and possessive.

  3. Uhmm... aren't frozen juice cubes pretty much popsicles?

  4. and uh...what was the idea behind the food coloring cubes?

  5. this happened to me once, except the guy decided he was going to marry my sister. they actually dated for awhile.

  6. This happened to me too in high school. My date (then bf) asked our waitress out to prom. They went together, had a terrible time. I had a blast with friends and a hot exchange student from Denmark as my date.

  7. You had all those glasses of water in front of you and you didn't toss one in his face? What a missed opportunity.

  8. You can't say to your date of a random woman you just met? What a doofus. LOL!


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