English Majors Are All Alike

Emails Submitted by Theodore:

Hey Theo:

It sounds like you really have a lot going for you!  I'm curious though: you said that you graduated high school in 2001 and college in 2004.  That means that you spent only three years in college.  Care to explain?


Theo Responds:

Hi Doreen.

I took three years to finish college thanks to AP exams and substantial summer work.  I thought it would be worth it to finish a year early and I think I made the right choice.  What did you study in college?


Doreen Responds:

So you're saying that I made the wrong choice?  I double majored in communications and English and still finished college on time.  Eat a dick.



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I completely ignored her remark solely based on the fact that she is a double Communication / English major.

  3. Double major in Communications and English? Wow, a double dose of A Bad Case of Not Being Able to Find A Job.

  4. Should've gone into Business Administration.

  5. Howie, "you can...gnaw...and maybe gnaw a dick...."

    Still, I had a similar thought.

  6. hahahahaha Brilliant.

    Also, as a Theatre Major, I'm in that ABCONBATFAJ.

    But that's nothing compared to a girl I knew at Goucher who was an Interdisciplinary major: Theatre, English, Philosophy, and Women Studies. She now teaches yoga professionally and is, apparently, very happy with her life.

  7. Is 3 years not a normal amount of time at college? Here, you only do 4 years if you do honours (or engineering, or a double degree).

    1. 4 years is normal for a bachelor's degree in the U.S. You can get through in 3 years, but it's unusual. Double-degree programs (bachelor's and master's degrees) are typically 5 years.


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