You Are What You Set Alight

Story Submitted by Kristen:

Back in college, I became acquainted with Tim.  He wasn't in any of my classes, but I bumped into him all the time in the quad until he stopped me one day and struck up a conversation.  I thought that he was a nice guy, and he asked me out for a forthcoming Friday night.

I was nervous on the night of the date, as it was my first date in a while.  About 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up at the house I was subletting, the doorbell rang.  I swallowed my nerves, went downstairs, and opened the door...

...to find a flaming paper bag, loaded with shit.

I panicked, grabbed some water and a broom and cleaned it up as best I could before he arrived, which he did, right on time.  I didn't mention anything about it, and we went off to dinner.

After dinner, he took me to a cafe near my house, and we spoke for a bit before he said, "Hey, I've got a surprise for you.  Wait here."

He excused himself and left the cafe.  He was gone for about 10 minutes, then returned and asked, "Ready to go?  We have to go now."

Unsure of what to expect, but pleased with how the evening had gone so far, I walked with him as he led me back to my house...

...where another flaming bag of shit burned on the doorstep.

"Gotcha!" he said, then ran away.

To this day, for the life of me, I can't understand why he spent the time and money (he insisted on paying for everything on the date) on a night with me if he was just going to be an asshole.


  1. Fraternity dare. Probably a pledge initiation thing, which is why he suddenly stopped you one day out of the blue. I bet it happened around pledge season, too. I've seen and heard of similar and worse pranks that frats require their initiates to pull off. He likely had no interest in you other than the fact that you were the most convenient option in the "find a girl to do this prank to" rules.

    And though flaming poo bags can potentially lead to arson charges, you're lucky you got to and put them out quick enough, and that the prank was nothing more serious/dangerous.

  2. This is what you get for telling someone you don't know where you live.

  3. ^ Yep.

    @Ari, instantly the first thing I thought of.


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