Another Zombie Victim

Story Submitted by Tina:

Carl (a 38-year-old) and I had been out on four dates.  They went all right, but I was sensing that there wasn't really any chemistry.  I thought that perhaps it was nerves, so I invited him to dinner at my home, thinking that perhaps we'd both feel a bit more comfortable.

He arrived empty-handed and very proud of it.  He said, "Look, no wine and no flowers!" then walked right into my place, snorted, turned to me, and said, "Okay, so I'm still really high from last night."  I sat him down at the dinner table, hoping that he'd shape up.

He must have caught me staring at some strange behavior and he asked, "What?"

I said, "You're just acting weird."

"Ha!  You have no idea how weird I am!"  I was beginning to get some idea.

After dinner we decided to watch a movie, I mentioned a few titles as options and he brightened at Planet Terror (very kitsch zombie movie - an acquired taste).

I asked him "Are you sure?  Do you know what this is about?"  He said yes, and I popped it in.

After around 20 minutes I noticed him cringing and grimacing at the film's violence, blood, and pus.  I asked him if he wanted to watch something else, and he stood up, muttered, "I'm sorry, we're too different," and walked out of the door.

Two days later, he wrote to ask me out again.  I turned him down.


  1. I seriously question the last line, I think Tina just wanted to pretend to get the last word after he walked out on her.

  2. "Okay, so I'm still really high from last night." I sat him down at the dinner table, hoping that he'd shape up.


    why? and then suggest a movie afterwards?

  3. Planet terror is the worst zombie movie ever. That's all.

  4. no, no, I swear - early the morning after he sent a one liner "you are not going to get rid of me that easily" and the day after he invited me for a walk in the park AND at the opera. Maybe he wanted to walk out on me in a public space as well..

  5. they changed the text, he didn't seem high, he just said that he was high, and sat by himself - why did they change my text?

  6. ^

    "Okay, so I'm still really high from last night." I sat him down at the dinner table, hoping that he'd shape up.

    He said that he was high... what did Jared change? I don't get it.

  7. I didn't have to sit him down :-) so maybe he wasn't really high - and he didn't snort either and was overall very polite :-)

  8. Well, you could always post the original text.

  9. I don't think that is possible, only the owner of the site can do that - normally I wouldn't mind, but I was hoping to be able to mention this story to a couple of friends who also know him, so I wanted it to be correct.

  10. Saying "I sat him down at the dinner table" can be as simple as saying "sit here at the dinner table." It doesn't necessarily require you to physically guide his ass to the chair. Maybe the original had grammar problems or something?

  11. Original text: "he proceeds to tell me that he is still high from some mushrooms he took the night before."

    Edited text: "[He] said, 'Okay, so I'm still really high from last night.'"

    Unsure what the issue is.

  12. Why'd you take out the 'shrooms part, Jared?

  13. It's a sensitive subject. Shrooms killed my family.

  14. Jared- Was it a Violet Fungus? A Shrieker? Maybe a Phantom Fungus. Or was it the dreaded Myconid?

  15. It was Princess Toadstool. In the parlor. With the candlestick.


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