School Daze

Story Submitted by Doug:

Willa's first email to me was the question, "Where did you go to college?"  I wrote her back with the answer, thinking that she might have been a former classmate I didn't recognize.  She replied back to that with a standard message, and I almost forgot her introductory message until our first date.

We were at a restaurant when I remembered and asked her, "Why did you ask me where I went to college in your first message?"

She replied, "I had to be sure that you were intelligent.  So many morons have emailed me over that site, and invariably, they all went to some dumb public college.  It's a good weed-out mechanism."

I stared at her and said, "Not everyone who went to a public college is an idiot."

She said, "Name one person who isn't."

I said, "Me."

She shook her head.  "You went to the University of Michigan."

I said, "Right.  Public school that it is."

She narrowed her eyes and thought for close to a minute.  Finally, she nodded slowly and said, "Well, it's pretty much private."

"But it isn't."

"But it is."

"The University of California, SUNY Binghamton, the University of Virginia... all great public schools."

"They're all also pretty much private."

"Where do you draw the line?"

She sighed.  "All the rest of them."

"Even Georgia Tech?"

She shuddered.  "Especially Georgia Tech.  I have an ex who goes there."

"So that makes it full of morons?"

"If they accepted him?  Yeah."

I was silent for a while after that, and she didn't say anything, until she added, "You ask a lot of questions.  Stupid questions."

First and last date.


  1. Again, anyone who doesn't agree with your system is NOT an idiot. Chances are what makes sense in the Wonka factory that is your mind do not make sense to anyone that isn't an orange midget.

  2. Ha! Why do people do this, anyway? I've had people respond to my "I'm not X," with "Yes, you are!" Bwuh?

  3. I went state school lol me smart not dumn


  4. I think that many things can be said about the intelligence of the choice to get a college education for a fraction of price of a private college. Too bad nobody at my hoity-toity five-figure-tuition New England boarding school told me that when I was applying for colleges...

  5. This sounds like the loony who berated the one guy for going to a community college, and it turned out that she went to a community college, too.

  6. But Agnes! If you hadn't gone to your overpriced art college, you never would have met meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Or been so successful in your field of study...you know...like how I'm successful...*sob* Oh God, Goucher didn't prepare us for shit!

  7. I had a full ride to a public college and decided to go to a private college instead. Oh well, can't let the mistakes of the past haunt me for the rest of my life, but those student loans sure do. ;)


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