Why Librarians Are So Crabby

Story Submitted by Hannah:

Peter asked me out for what turned out to be one of the most beautiful spring days of the year.  We met up in front of the town library, and I had guessed that we would do lunch, coffee, a walk, or what have you.

I was wrong.  He walked up the steps of the library and asked, "Ready to go in?"

A library seemed like a strange place for a date, but I was optimistic that he had something engaging planned.  Once inside, he led me among the stacks and found a row where no one else was browsing.  He turned to me and asked, "Ready?"

"For what?"

He stepped toward me, took a book off a shelf, carried it a few shelves further down the aisle, and replaced it on a different shelf.  He grabbed another book, and then shelved it in another incorrect place.  He pointed at me.

I said, "You want me to... switch books around?"

He nodded and giggled, almost unable to keep it in.  "Yeah!  When people come to look for them, they'll get a librarian to help them and then the librarians get all confused!"  He grinned, then grabbed five more books and replaced them in other locations.

He also took one book out and shelved it in backward, so that the pages faced out instead of the spine.  "This pisses off librarians, too," he informed me.  Don't you know it, you learn something new every day.

After a few minutes of watching him have fun, I said, "Not that this isn't exciting, but can we maybe do lunch?  Or go outside?  It's beautiful out."

He said, "In a minute.  Almost done."  He kept going for several minutes.  I became tired of waiting, grabbed a book, and sat down at a nearby table, away from where he could see me.  It was my plan to wait a few more minutes, then insist that we leave.

However, not too long after I made that resolution, I heard the sound of several books crashing to the ground and the word, "Shit!" in Peter's voice.  A woman who I guessed to be a librarian strode over to where he was, and I thought it best to leave at that moment.  I hastily brought my book to a reshelving cart and left the library.


  1. This librarian is definitely not amused.

  2. This librarian is also not amused. We exist to help people, and you really want to make that a disagreeable proposition? Jerk.

  3. As an avid fan of libraries, I always get cranky when I can't find a book I really want. Considering that I'm usually a random browser, when I go out of my way to actually look up a book and go hunting for it, I expect it to be there. If I saw someone over the age of 7 doing this, I'd give them a stern talking to (if they were younger) or a kick in the ass (if they were older).

  4. Although I agree with theMediator, and certainly Nikki as I am an avid browser of the Dewey decimal system, there is the funny concept of switching all the bibles to the fiction section... Only funny in concept, obviously, but the only 'book swapping' I would consider amusing.

  5. Pfft, -lame- libraries use Dewey Decimal. Real libraries use LOC.

    But I live in DC so I may be biased.
    ...biased towards what makes sense. KF

    1. Except for the NY Public Library, which uses its own cataloging system that (AFAIK) no other library has picked up.

  6. A lot of librarians read this blog.

  7. ^For whatever reason, it DOES seem like the sort of blog that would amuse librarians.

    The idea of the Bible in the fiction section DOES sound kinda funny, but again, it's going to be a horror for the poor library employee who has to explain to the pissed off Christian why his/her beloved Word of God was filed in the fiction section. So still a dick move.


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