Why "Fastest" Is Not Synonymous with "Best"

Story Submitted by Tiffany:

Cameron, a guy I met online when I was in college, didn't give a single hint that he was anything other than an honest, caring guy.  He asked me a lot about myself, and it seemed as though he had led an accomplished life of his own.  He was a student at a nearby school, and we arranged a date for a Friday evening.

I met him in my college's main quad, and he showed up in a trench coat.  It wasn't out of the ordinary, as it was spring, but there was still a chill in the air.  I asked him, "Ready for dinner?"

He said, "Let's take a walk first.  I have something to show you."

We strolled through the quad, down by the track, and past some buildings in the old part of campus.  We walked behind one of them, where the soccer field was, and he turned to me and stepped close.

I looked around.  No one else was nearby.  He said, "Look!" and threw open his trench coat.

He was naked.  I screamed.  He screamed back at me.  I ran, ran, ran away.  I heard him running behind me, laughing.  There was a guard booth at the front of a nearby access road, and so I made for it.  I hoped that if he saw me going for it, he'd stop his pursuit.  He didn't. 

I made it to the guard booth.  The guard, who had seen us approach, jumped out of it and stood between Cameron and I.  "Hey!" the guard yelled.

"I'm just trying to get her," Cameron said, then took off.  The guard chased him for a few steps, then turned back to me.

"You all right?" he asked.

I was, but very shaken.  I filed a report, and that night, an e-mail arrived from Cameron.  It read, "Fastest date ever!  Ha!"

I blocked his e-mails and was ready to report any further sightings of him, which thankfully, I never had.