A Third Wheel at My Own Date

Story Submitted by Gerardo:

Christine was just out of a breakup and so she did a good amount of venting at me when we started talking online.  She and her ex were still on speaking terms, but it sounded like every little thing he did annoyed her.  I suggested that she needed some space away from him.  She agreed, and after several conversations, she brought him up less and less.

After a week, she said that she hadn't contacted him at all, and I told her that I was proud of her.  We arranged a date at a restaurant for that weekend.

When I arrived there, I found her already seated in a booth, next to some guy with long hair and a goatee.  She stood up, pointed to the guy, and said to me, "This is David, my ex."

I froze up, but shook his hand when he extended it.  She sat down, but I didn't.  I asked her, "What's this about?"

She said, "David just wants to make sure that you're a good guy, and that you'll treat me as well as he did."

"Sit," David said.

I remained standing.  "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why not?" she asked, "David knows me better than anyone."  David put an arm around her and squeezed her, almost as if they were still a couple.

I said, "I don't think I'm up for this.  Sorry," and I left.

Christine followed me outside.  She asked, "What's your problem?  He's just worried about me."

I shook my head and said, "You're obviously still crazy about each other, and I'm just getting in the way."

She said, "But I'm not crazy about him!  I hate him!  I do!"  She started to cry, and I hugged her, right there, on the street.

After a few moments, I said, "You should probably resolve everything with him before looking to date again."

She said, "I guess," then drew away from me, said, "Thank you," and went back inside.

Never heard from her again, but I hope that she worked things out.


  1. Unfortunately, this happens a lot...for men and women. Most people try to deny it, or to change the other person. Good for you, OP, for standing up and doing the right thing. :)

  2. Nice guys finish last... but I would have done the same thing.

  3. Nice guys don't finish last, it's guys that think of themselves as "nice guys" but behave like jackasses who finish last.

    Gerardo sounds like a nice guy and luckily didn't get himself saddled with a girl who clearly was still in love with someone else.

  4. "David just wants to make sure that you're a good guy, and that you'll treat me as well as he did."

    If he treated her so well why were they broken up?

  5. @Riley

    While I would normally agree, the evidence from this is overwhelmingly to the contrary.

  6. OP was not being a 'nice guy', he was being a smart guy.

    What's the other option - have dinner and try to seduce the date with the ex looking on, taking notes and tsking away?

  7. Don't start. Nice girls finish last too. Nice guys don't go after nice girls, so that's what happens.


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