That Won't Come Out in the Wash

Story Submitted by Jason:

Rita and I became hot and heavy pretty quickly. Racy emails and phone calls turned into a very intense first date. We were both very into each other, although it turned out that she was a bit more into me.

As out first date hadn't ventured much out of her bedroom, we went out to dinner for our second date. The entire time, she smiled as of she was positively giddy to be there — or as if she had a secret to tell.

Once we sat down, she said, "I have something to show you," then rolled up her left sleeve to reveal my name, carved into her flesh.

My breath caught in my throat, and I froze up.  It was one of the most terrifying moments I can remember, mostly because I didn't know what to do.

I started, "What the f–" then stopped, thought for a second, and said, "That's a little freaky."

She glanced at it and said, "I went through pain for you, and that's what you have to say?"

I thought again, then said, "Yeah.  That's what I have to say.  Please get help," and I left her there.  I never heard from her again, and I hope that she got the help she needed.


  1. Well, it certainly qualifies as a bad date. I mean come on, show that off after dinner, don't ruin someone's appetite.

  2. I hope not, but I know that there will be someone who shows up here to condemn you for being a heartless, horrible human being. I think you reacted perfectly. She was clearly mentally unstable, and anything you did beyond walking away and never speaking her again would only reinforce her delusional, obsessive behavior. And you had no obligation to stick around and play therapist.

  3. OP, you are a heartless, horrible human being. That girl sacrificed so much because she loved you, and THIS is how you treat her?

    Naw, I'm just messing with you. That girl is NUTS!

  4. Consider that bullet dodged...

  5. You're right, she's unstable. I do think authorities of some sort should have been called as she may have been a danger to herself, but you did the right thing in not condoning the self harm.

  6. When I read this first I thought she had gotten a tattoo, I took the phrase "carved in her flesh" figuratively, not literally. Am I wrong? I still would be freaked out and react the same way the OP did if it was just a tattoo.

  7. Seems to me that OP showed how little he cared for her besides using her for sex. Maybe he was happy to have an excuse to walk out.

    Imagine if a friend, or a colleague, turned up and showed you their date's name carved into their skin?

    Would you just look at him/her as if they were crazy, say 'Get help', and then *ignore* him/her?

    If you had the least bit of consideration, you should ask the person to tell you why they did it. Emphasise the need for help, probably. No need to become their therapist, but no need to blank them out for what may be a unusual occurrence.

    (I assume it was done with a razor, probably relatively superficial cuts - though looking more impressive because recently done and therefore with dried blood and all).

  8. *eyeroll* Anonyme. At that point, all they had was the sex. They didn't know each other any other way beyond that. Perhaps he thought that that would be the basis of their "relationship" - booty calls. Perhaps he wanted a second date to get to know her outside the bedroom.

    Unfortunately, he found out that she was a nutjob. It's not a date's job to play therapist and ask her probing questions about her mental state. If he wanted to go out of his way, he could have called the authorities on her, but I think that embarrassing her in a public place like that would have been even more heartless than cutting her off from his life.

    Julie is right - giving her any more attention after that is only playing into her delusions about how this relationship will go. She's an attention-seeker; don't give her attention.


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