"Soccer Time!"

Story Submitted by Shelly:

I worked for a big media company and while there, I met Joe, who worked in another department.  We'd see each other every few days, but the conversations would always be light-hearted and a welcome distraction from work.  He asked me out to dinner for a Friday night.

"We can head out from work," he said, "And then I can drop you off wherever when we're done."  I always took public transportation to and from the job, so I accepted his offer, thinking that he could drop me off at a station at the end of the date.

When he came by my office to pick me up at the end of the the day, I shut everything down and prepared to follow him downstairs to the parking garage when he said, "Oh, I forgot.  I'm going to change.  Back in a sec."  He made for the bathroom.  I thought it was a little strange, but it wasn't a big deal.

He returned in a soccer outfit.  I laughed and asked, "We going to a game, Pelé?"

He said, "Yeah, I forgot, my soccer team is playing tonight.  You'll have a good time."

I was taken aback.  "We're going to watch a soccer game?"

He said, "Well, you are.  I'm going to be playing in it.  You'll have a good time."

I was annoyed that he sprang this on me last-minute, and I wanted to make sure that he knew it.  "I–uh, you didn't tell me that we'd be doing that."

He said, "Yeah.  Quick dinner, then you get to see me play!  You a soccer fan?"

"Not really."

"Well, maybe you'll be one by the end of the night.  Let's go."

We headed to the parking garage and I said, "I can do dinner, but I may not join you for soccer afterward."

He replied, "I may not have time to drop you off after dinner.  You might have to come along whether you want to or not."

I laughed and said, "I'm sure that wherever we go for dinner will have a bus stop nearby."

He said, "We'll see.  Why don't you want to watch me play?"

I said, "I'm not a soccer fan."

"But you're a 'me' fan, aren't you?"

"Hence dinner."

When he said "quick dinner," he really meant it.  We went to a convenience store deli, sat down, and he downed his ham sandwich faster than it took you to read this sentence.  In his defense, he paid for dinner, and I thanked him for it.

Then came the very best part.  He jumped to his feet, beat his chest, yelled, "Soccer time!" and ran out of the deli, leaving me inside with a half-eaten sandwich.

I finished my meal, left, looked around for him outside, caught a bus, and went home.

The next time I saw him at work, he asked me out again.  I turned him down.


  1. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... ahh...

  2. This country's unhealthy obsession with sports really scares me sometimes.....

  3. ^ whaaaat? Have you seen childhood obesity these days? I don't think people are active enough! Oh, and Curling Rocks!

  4. Howie's got a point, Baku.

    Sounds like this guy's taken one too many balls to the head though.

  5. Howie does have a point, but one can be obsessed without ever leaving the couch.

  6. The OP is definitely right to call ...

    He jumped to his feet, beat his chest, yelled, "Soccer time!" and ran out of the deli, leaving me inside with a half-eaten sandwich.

    ... the best part. I laughed so hard at the image I got from reading that part.

  7. It's what happens when one has tiger blood flowing through their veins.

  8. Baku, it's not just America's obsession with sports, assuming you didn't write your comment from Burma or something. Sports, like religion, is the opiate of the masses.


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