A Pain in the Assassination

Story Submitted by Ciara:

I was in college when I met Tony at a party.  He picked me up in his car at my dorm on the night of our date, pulled away from the curb, and asked me, "Are you going to cooperate with me tonight?"

I asked, "What do you mean?"

He said, "I have an errand to run, and I might not come back alive.  You in?"

I said, "Is there a chance that I'll die, too?"

He said, "A large chance."

"Then I don't think so, Tony."

He pulled over to the side of the road.  "You can get out, then," he said, disappointed, as if he had expected me to come along.

I asked, "What's your errand all about?"

He said, "I have to kill a killer.  You in?"

I took a moment to consider, then said, "I don't think so, Tony."

He pointed to my door.  "The door's right there."

I exited the car, and Tony sped off on his important errand.  I never heard from him again.  My conclusion is that he failed in his task, but I imagine him dying bravely, taking fifty bullets to the sternum, falling out of a helicopter, and being eaten by bears.


  1. As with many of these stories..Jared's title was far more entertaining!

  2. It sounds to me like he was just being quirky and/or had something fun planned. By the sound of it, the OP didn't play along at all and comes off worse than Tony does.

  3. Yeah...there's a fine line between killing for real and killing for "fun." Guess OP's just not quirky enough. Her loss...

  4. Am I really the only one who would have gotten out of the car immediately if my date (whom I don't really know) said we were going to kill somebody and said we could die too? If he was joking he shouldn't have let her get out of the car without letting her in on the joke.

    "Are you going to cooperate with me tonight?" Would have been it for me.

  5. ^ Agree, and if her date was just being quirky and/or had something fun planned then he wouldn't have directed her to leave.

    But for all we know OP either missed out on the greatest, most epic date EVER!! or not..

  6. I like the OP's writing style. It amused me.

  7. Just the line "Are you going to cooperate with me tonight?" would terrify me in that situation, regardless of what spin he put on it. It reeks of potential force/rape allegations.

    And as far as going along with what might be quirky and fun, I'd say I'm with Connie on this one. He could have at least stopped her and said he was joking. I really hate when people refuse to break character when it's clearly not helping the situation (like the girl who dressed up in LARP garb and spoke in bad old English for the entire date then walked/climbed over cars into the sunset). Quirk is awesome, but learn when it's not (or stops being) appropriate.

  8. Yes, "Are you going to cooperate with me tonight?" made my blood run cold. I doubt I would have waited for an explanation, I'd have jumped out of the car before we left the parking lot.

    Holy crow. Who thinks that sort of thing is cute?


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