Now and at the Hour of Our Date

Story Submitted by Joel:

Mandy mentioned on her profile that she was Catholic and pretty serious about it.  Each of her profile essays mentioned Jesus or her church.  I had no issue with her beliefs, but she wasn't the sort of person I would typically message.  The fact that she wrote to me was a little strange, and I told her upfront that I wasn't as religious as she seemed to be.  She said it wouldn't be a problem, and it didn't come up again.

We met at a mall, where I figured we could walk around for a bit before lunch or what-have-you.  We hadn't been walking for long before she told me, "This is going to be my last date, ever.  I'm going to become a nun."

I asked, "Something I did?"

She said, "No.  I've been going back and forth on it for a while.  I'm ready to take my vows."

I said, "That's a big decision, and I wish you a lot of luck."

She said, "You aren't going to try and convince me otherwise?  That's funny, I thought you would."

"Why?  It's your decision."

She leaned in close to me, about six inches away from my face, and asked, "Can you resist the temptation?"

I said, "Yep.  Ready to move on?"  I stepped away from her and sped up a bit.  She caught up and took my hand.  I asked, "What are you doing?  This isn't very nun-like."

She said, "Nuns can hold people's hands.  They might even have sex with each other.  Just so long as it's not a man."

I said, "I don't think that's accurate, but if you do, then maybe you're not cut out to be a nun."

That made her really upset.  She let go of my hand and said, "I'm going to be a nun.  I'm going to be a nun.  You'll see."

Then she started praying, right there, in the middle of the mall.  Hail Mary.  After a few moments, I asked her if she wanted to continue on.  She prayed ever louder.  I asked her again, and she upped the volume once more.  I said, "I'll meet you over at the food court when you're done," and left her praying there.

I waited for her at the food court for about 45 minutes, had lunch, and went home.


  1. She sounds as though she was interested in becoming a lesbian, not a nun.

  2. "Something I did?"
    Hilarious =D

  3. @Melissa - just what I was thinking too!

  4. wow...lunch at a mall or 'what-have-you' for a first date?
    You waited 45 minutes for her to finish praying and join you?

    You must be a real winner...

    not only did you potentially turn a girl lesbo, you made her want to be chaste the rest of her life!

  5. I agree with Howie. Why the hell did you wait 45 minutes in the first place? I'd have shrugged and just gone home when she started her public screaming Hail Mary schpiel.

    And lesbian nun sex? Psh. That's what fetish clubs are for, not real nunneries. I'd love to see her face when she learns what being a nun is really like. And I hope she finds out AFTER she blindly takes her vows. :p

  6. Should have said, I'll meet you in the Men's Room.

  7. p.s. All religious people are mentally deficient. Believing in physically impossible phenomena is NOT a virtue.

  8. I kind of agree with Brad, when someone says they are extremely religious, that's a sign to cut your losses.


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