Kiss of Death

Story Submitted by Gary:

My date with Kelly (dinner, drinks, and dancing) went very well.  She needed me to drop her off at a bus depot at the end of it, and so I drove her to the station.  It was freezing cold out, and the bus wasn't expected for another 20 minutes.  We hung out in my car with the heat on.

As we talked about her relationship with her brother, my hand crept closer to hers.  She took my hand and continued talking.  Good so far.  I shifted in the driver's seat to be a bit closer to her.  She did the same in the passenger seat.  Good.  I leaned in.  She leaned in.  Our lips met.  Excellent.

Her mouth opened, and–oh God!  Ugh!  What was that horrible taste?  Her mouth tasted like bile-pickle-belch sauce.

I broke away and faked a coughing fit.  She asked, "Is everything okay?"

Oh, how to break the news?  Our first kiss had been terrible.  Did I grin and bear it for another try?  Or did I weasel out of it?  Maybe it was what she had for dinner.  But she had pasta and marinara sauce.  Nothing offensive about that.  And we had mints afterward!

I nodded, under the strange belief that the taste would be gone upon a second kiss.  It wasn't.  We kissed a bit longer, and the only way I could tolerate it was to not breathe through my nose.  I felt like I was going to puke.  I broke away slowly and kissed the tip of her nose under the guise of being playful.  Then, I inhaled a noseful of that awful smell.  I turned away and coughed.

She asked, "Are we going too fast for you?"

Ah, the perfect out!  I said, "Maybe.  I'm looking forward to seeing you again, though."

She smiled and went in to kiss me once more.  Instinctively, I jerked my head back and said, "No."

It was a dumb thing to say.  She said, "This is too fast for you?  You're thirty.  You obviously just don't want to kiss me."

"I do."

"Then kiss me."

I hesitated.  She pulled me in, I surrendered, and we kissed for about six seconds before I just couldn't take it anymore.  It was like licking something rotten, and I had had enough.

I broke away and said, "Something tastes weird."

She stared at me, said, "You're an idiot," and left the car.  I jumped out and followed her to the bus stop, but no matter what I said, she wouldn't even look at me.  The bus came and took her away, out of my life forever.  It was a shame, since we had a great date.  However, the idea of kissing her still makes me shiver.


  1. ....methinks she's been in this situation before. If somebody said "something tastes weird" to me after kissing, I would further inquire as to what it was/could be. Maybe even suggest that my mouth was dry, my food had a lot of garlic etc.

    To say 'you were an idiot' and then walk away was her knowing she has a problem like halitosis.

  2. She might have had a sinus infection- a bad one will leave a scent of sickness on the breath that's unrelated to what food the person's eaten, and will also be present in breath coming from the nose, unlike typical bad breath, which comes from the mouth. That happened to my last boyfriend once, and it was horrible- my hindbrain couldn't get over the repulsion to sickness indicators, even though I loved him.

  3. I'm 100% with Howie. Her reaction is most likely a clue to her not knowing how to deal with her problem.

  4. I kissed a guy ONE time whose mouth smelled literally like shit. It was so gross. I didn't say anything about it and gave him some lame brush off. There is just no way to break this news to someone. Nastiness.


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