3/21/2011

It's Stuffy in Here

Story Submitted by Letitia:

Henry and I met online, and we had a brief coffee date just to meet each other.  He seemed like a nice, sane guy, and was very charming.  For our second date, he asked me out to dinner and drinks, and I looked forward to it.  We had arranged that he would pick me up at my place.

When he arrived, he asked me if he could use my bathroom.  I pointed him in its direction, and he was in there for a little while before emerging.

When he came out, he asked, "Ready to go?"

I don't know what it was, but I suddenly had a bad feeling.  I told him, "In a second.  I'll meet you outside," and he left the house for his car.

I went into the bathroom to find that not only the toilet, but the sink and bathtub were positively stuffed with crumpled toilet paper.  The toilet itself was heaped to overflowing, and there was an awful smell coming from it.  No joke, there had to have been at least three full rolls of toilet paper involved.

I pulled out my phone and texted him, "Come back here, please."

He texted back, "Why?"

Rather than text him again, I stormed outside to find him sitting in his car.  He rolled down his window, and I said, "What did you do to my bathroom?"

He gave me a wide-eyed look, then put his car into drive and floored it down the street.  "Hey!" I yelled, "Hey!" after him, but he didn't stop or come back.

I texted him, "I'm sending you the cleanup bill, asshole."  It was a dumb thing to send, and I spent the evening cleaning up my bathroom rather than having a nice time out.  Still, given what he showed me about himself, I was probably better off.

3 comments:

  1. Your mistake was confronting him in a fashion where he could get away. Shoulda got into his car and then pissed all over the seat...

    Oooooh... was that childish of me to suggest?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ^Yes, but very you.

    I love that there are a slew of dates on this site who think it's appropriate to destroy someone's bathroom and then bolt immediately afterward. I understand embarrassment and all, don't get me wrong, but good Lord, people. this is ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete

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