3/05/2011

The Great Cheesecake Caper

Story Submitted by Jeff:

Hazel's profile put her location as five miles away from me.  I wrote to her and she said that she was in California for a couple of weeks, visiting friends.   We spent those weeks trading almost twenty flirty e-mails a day.  To say that I was looking forward to meeting her was an understatement.

She promised to make me a small cheesecake to give me on our date.  I was taken aback, as she didn't have to go through the trouble. 

The night of our date finally arrived.  I could barely concentrate on anything else all day.  We met at a restaurant and she handed me a small box, wrapped in paper and bows.  "It's your cheesecake," she said.

"This was very nice of you," I said, "Thank you."

We had a great time at dinner, although she had to bring the night to an early close.  "I have to catch up on work, since I've been away for so long."  I understood and I bid her goodnight.

I went home, hotly anticipating a taste of her homemade cheesecake.  I took off the bow, opened up the wrapping paper, opened the box, and...

It was empty.  In retrospect, it had seemed lighter than expected, but she had used a thick cardboard box, so there was some weight to it.  I called her up to ask if she had somehow misplaced it.

I said, over the phone, as a joke, "Hey, I tried some of your cheesecake."

She paused for a moment, then said, "Oh yeah?  How did you like it?"

I laughed and said, "There was nothing in the box.  Did you forget to put the cake inside before wrapping it?"

The longest pause.  Then, "No."

"Well, it wasn't in the box."

She said, "No.  I meant, I didn't forget to put it in the box.  I didn't put it in the box on purpose.  I tasted a little bit of it once it was done, and the next thing I knew, it was gone."

I asked, "You ate the whole thing?"

She said, "Yeah.  But I still wanted to give you something."

"So you gave me an empty box?  And why would you ask me how I liked it when you clearly knew that I hadn't?"

Another pause.  Then, "I don't know.  Maybe one would appear in there or something."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I stalled with a, "Um..."

She broke in, "You know what?  I've got to get back to work, here.  I'll call you sometime?  Okay, good."  She hung up.  Never heard from her again.

5 comments:

  1. She feels like someone who repeatedly got her head stuck in the banister trying to see if it would fit...

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...You know, I can make something appear in YOUR empty box if you let me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ^ heh heh heh heh heh... ah crap.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Really? No fat jokes? The one time it makes sense to make one. sigh...

    ReplyDelete

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