E-mail Submitted by Mary:
Hello young lady.
I'm having a party and would like to invite you. Not as a guest. Not as entertainment. But as snack food. Let me explain:
My request would be that you lie stripped upon a table on your back (possibly stomach-I haven't yet decided) and allow my staff to dress you with snack items like breadsticks, crackers, cheeses, and the like. Nothing liquid or runny. You would remain still for four hours and my staff will continually replenish the snack food supply. I can offer $1000 for four hours of work. You will not be taken advantage of or used for sex, although some of the guests may touch or caress you. You must allow them to do this although it will be kept to a minimum. You are a serving platter, after all.
Strange? Yes, and I'll be the first to confess it. Still, it's an honest work, and you'll be paid handsomely. There are a few other conditions I'd be glad to discuss if you show an interest.
Ike
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(Mary says: "I actually took him up on it. It was a sex party but he was a cool guy and he had an attendant with me at all times to make sure that I wouldn't be touched. The 'other conditions' he mentioned were things like 'Don't wear perfume, we'll rub edible oils on you,' and 'Shave.' It was fun.")
I'd love to know what it said in your profile that prompted him to email you in the first place!
ReplyDeleteSounds fun!!!
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to pay me more than $250 an hour to put up with a bunch of horny men eating off me.
ReplyDelete^ hmmm...how much would you have to be paid?
ReplyDeleteAs a man (horny or otherwise) there is NO way I'd want to eat food off of a strange lady...besides the fact she's have to be completely hairless...nothing worse than hair in my food. Ugh.
Does it count as sketchy when you take them up on their offer?
ReplyDeleteI was going to say - sounds like a case of I-went-along-with-its and everything was fine. If you didn't think it was sketchy, why submit it.
ReplyDeleteJared, the email was still sketchy. The fact that she took him up on his offer just makes her ok with the sketchiness and the overall weirdness of the situation...
ReplyDeleteGood pay makes anything not sketchy. Don't believe me?
ReplyDeleteIf Bill Gates offered you a billion dollars for anal, you would do it.
I was kidding around. I wouldn't have posted it if it didn't make me want to take a shower after having read it.
ReplyDeleteGoogle 'Nyotaimori'.
ReplyDeleteIt's not really popular anywhere, but it is pushed as Japanese culture anywhere outside of Japan.
Oh my goodness. That's just... oh my goodness... I'm no over zealous feminist but... seriously? You'd let them perpetuate this belief?
ReplyDeletePerpetuate what belief? Is there an underlying belief in every man's mind that women are buffet tables? I'd be surprised!
ReplyDeleteI once had a naked girl tape a $10 bill on her bellybutton and pointed at it and said "All you can eat, under $10".
ReplyDeleteI told her I didn't eat anywhere that didn't have a sneeze guard in place. She slapped me and then we banged.
^ahahahahaahahahaahaha ha
ReplyDeleteI've seen this at an art gallery opening before. I thought it was pretty cool and the girl was just chillin' talking to people. There are worse ways to make money.
ReplyDelete^I'd love to talk to the woman I'm eating food off of. I could stuff my face full of cheeses and breadsticks and veggies and make a new friend!
ReplyDeleteI've been to BDSM play parties where this was done. Approaching someone randomly for it is strange, though.
ReplyDelete