She Microwaved My Heart

Story Submitted by Tyler:

In college, Beatrice offered to cook me dinner in her dorm room — soup, salad, and braised chicken.

I was very grateful, and we arranged a date and time.  That day, however, I was held up on a class project and called to let her know that I'd be a little late.  She assured me that it wouldn't be a problem.

When I made it, she gave me a big hug and said that she had to reheat the soup in her microwave.  She put it in and we started on the salad.

Her microwave buzzed and there was a loud bang.  I saw – too late – that she had put the soup in a metal bowl.  I had just about enough time to say, "You used a metal–" before there was a sound like a huge clap, a few thumps, and a final electric-sounding sigh.  I yanked Beatrice with me under the table, but by that point, the microwave was fried and something behind it had caught fire.

She ran for a cup of water while I looked for a fire extinguisher.  I found one in the hallway, ran it back to her room, and sprayed it all over the scene of the incident, including on a pile of her clothes that were nearby, as I didn't want them to catch fire.

Several dorm residents came to see the fallout, and I called the college's maintenance hotline.  Beatrice blamed me for "ruining her clothes," and told me that by calling the maintenance line, I had, "forced her to pay for the damage."  She also insisted that I help her cover the damage, because if I hadn't been late, she wouldn't have had to reheat the soup.

I stayed with her until maintenance arrived, and then I thought it best that I leave.  I did not pay a dime, and she never invited me over for dinner again.