Friends and Benefits

Story Submitted by Isaac:

Carla and I had a date scheduled for a Friday night. That day, she called to ask me if she could invite a friend along. I thought it was a weird request for a date and told her so.

She said, "She's a really good friend and I know you'll like her."

I asked her, "Can I invite a friend, too?"

She said, "Sure."

At the date, Carla showed up with her friend, Lisa. I arrived with my friend, Beth. Lisa introduced herself to me, but the introduction of Carla and Beth was awkward, to say the least. Carla gave me an incredulous look and said, "Uh... hi, I guess," to Beth. Carla then took me aside.

She said, "What the fuck is this? You brought another woman to our date?"

I replied, "Beth's a friend. You said I could bring a friend."

"Yeah! A guy!"

I said, "You never said it had to be a guy. I said 'a friend' and you said 'sure.'"

She said, "I'm not going to share you with some ho-bag."

I said, "Beth isn't a ho-bag, and I don't see what the problem is. She's a friend. You brought a friend along. If it was that important that I bring a guy friend, then you should have said so."

She turned to Lisa and said, "Come on, Lisa. We're leaving." I said a quick goodbye to Lisa, and they left Beth and I alone.

Beth and I had a very nice dinner and a good laugh. We still joke about it to this day.


  1. Dating rule #1: never, ever, ever bring more people along. no friends, no exes, no parents. It's pretty much a guaranteed fail. The OP did his best to turn lemons into lemonade, but he should have had the balls to just say no in the first place.

  2. Isaac...you're a knob. Why didn't you just man-up and go by yourself?

  3. I don't know, Andrew. I kinda like the fact that he took her at her word and gave up on the idea of a one-on-one date. After all, it was a last-minute change to their plans, so he probably crossed her off his "to date" list anyway. I feel bad for Lisa, though. She probably thought she'd get a good hook-up

  4. Agree with Nikki -- the whole "don't bring extra people on a date" ship sailed when the chick declared she was bringing her own friend. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I'd do the same thing, if only to demonstrate how completely inappropriate a last-minute change of expectations is.

    (Or else I'd just shoot it down on the phone, and tell her that we're clearly not on the same page about the date, and as such we'd probably have better luck looking for someone on our same wavelength.)

  5. I saw no reason for either of the girls to think Lisa was going to be set up. They had both planned to come on the date before they even knew that OP would be bringing a friend.
    My thought all along was (and still is) that the girls wanted a threesome. When Carla said, " I'm not going to share you with some hoe-bag," I was sure she meant sexually. If she was prepared for a threesome with OP and Lisa, OP's date threw her off.
    If he had brought a guy, who knows? Maybe each couple would have hooked up.

  6. Rachael, she had given OP permission to bring a friend as well, ergo, she'd be expecting a FOURSOME, not a threesome. It makes more sense to conclude that she wanted "back up" oon a potentially sketchy date, not that she wanted kinky sex. Her overreaction to his choice of friend was just a warning sign of another common abcotd meme) the girl/guy who doesn't want their significant other hanging out w/friends of the opposite sex once they're in a relationship.

  7. ^ Yes, which just makes it more weird, because if she was uncomfortable with a one-on-one date, she could have suggested a group activity to begin with, rather than a last-minute "Oh, I'm bringing my friend" WTFness. I've done that before, with the unexpected added bonus of it being another way to weed out the weirdos. I invited one guy to a regular group coffee outing (something like a Meetup, and purely social), and he flipped the fuck out that I wasn't immediately willing to date him sight unseen -- grateful to dodge that bullet beforehand. And I invited another to an organized discussion night, which he accepted, and we both had a blast, and it was a GREAT way to learn quite a bit about how his brain works.

    In short, she was nuts. :)


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