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Story Submitted by Julius:

I wrote to Allison online.  She wrote back, sounding very sweet and kindly: "Thank you for your message!  So nice to hear from a polite-sounding guy.  You've got to tell me more about your skateboarding experience.  Is it hard?" Etc.  Most of our messages, back and forth, were of that nature.

She was a pretty blonde with a wild streak (she had run away from home at 16 to spend a few months on the road) and was in the midst of starting her own graphic design business.  I liked her more and more, and I felt as though we had a great connection.

When we met in person for dinner, though, things fell apart quickly.  She gave me a big hug, and then asked, "Where are my flowers?"

At first, I thought she was kidding.  I said, "I'll raid some neighborhood gardens for them after dinner."

She shook her head.  "No.  Seriously.  You didn't even bring me flowers?"

I said, "No, but I was planning to pay for dinner.  That's nice, right?"

She said, "Flowers would've been unexpected and thoughtful."

"But you obviously expected flowers.  I'm confused."

She laughed and said, "Now you're going to play stupid mind games.  Whatever.  Let's have dinner."

Dinner would have been a nice experience, had she not interrupted the conversation ever five or so minutes with, "I still can't believe you didn't get me flowers."

After she had repeated this a third time, I said, "Believe it.  Can we move on?"

She ordered a small salad for dinner.  "I wouldn't want to set your budget too far back.  You can't even afford flowers!" she quipped.

I brought dinner to as fast a close as possible.  It struck me as sad that she would be hung up on such a small detail, and that she'd ruin what might have been a good relationship because of it.  She must have seen how quickly I wanted to end things (I asked for the check to be brought with the food) and didn't argue.

Once we were outside, she said, "Well, goodbye!" and started to walk away.

I waited for her to go a few steps and said, "Hey, wait!  I got you flowers!"

She turned around, her face expectant.  I said, "You're a bitch," and walked away.


  1. That last line was unnecessary.

  2. And on International Women's Day.

  3. Being tempted is fine, but keeping your dignity is better.

  4. I never understood what was so special about being given flowers. That said, if her wanting flowers and being a brat about not getting any (even though she hadn't asked) was the worst of her behavior, you're not much better, Julius.

  5. Gnome, how annoying would it be to show up to a date and have a girl you've never met in person before expect you to bring her flowers when she never mentioned that she wanted them? THEN she keeps bringing it up, as though you were an idiot for not reading her mind. It obviously looked like she was going to harp on this "misstep" for the rest of the date, so Julius was right in cutting it short. Yes, he fucked up at the end, but I wouldn't say that they're a match made in douchebag heaven.

  6. She was a bitch. She was passive aggressive and made nasty comments through dinner, and then let him pay (he said check, not checks) and was prepared to walk away with a, "Well, bye!" OP might not have been classy, but he was technically correct.

  7. Julie- OP already said he was going to pay. And then made it very clear through his actions that things weren't working and he wanted the date to end. So for her to try and just walk away was probably the right thing to do. He was the douchebag for not letting it drop.

    Though I do have to say that the ending sounds quite contrived. It's probably more what he wish he had done than what he actually did.

  8. While it's not something I would have personally said, I can see why he did it. She sounds like a girl who believes life owes her perfection and his last little ZING! evened the playing field a bit.

  9. Flowers are a dumb thing to bring on a first date anyway. Gifts of any kind are a pretty bad idea on a first date, but flowers (and/or ye olde heart-shaped box of chocolates) are the worst. It indicates someone is extremely conservative and has no imagination, or it's their first date ever and they have no idea what to do so they copied something they saw in a cartoon once.

  10. The last bit was uncalled for. Why stoop to that level? To each their own I suppose.

  11. Kitabare: Not letting what drop, exactly? The date? The same thing could be said for her. Whether or not he said he would pay at the beginning of the date, when it became clear that things were going south and there wouldn't be a second date she should have paid for her own meal.

  12. I don't think he stooped at all, that last line made me laugh out loud!
    I just imagined her turning around looking so happy only to have that said to her, it depends on how he said it I guess.
    OP took the date further than I would have, if someone's that needy at the beginning why go on with dinner!

  13. @Andrew, another thing to consider is that if the date doesn't specifically mention wanting flowers or chocolate, and you show up with them anyway, you run into the awkward potential problem of her being allergic to flowers or some kind of eating disorder that she's overcoming. Or maybe she's allergic to chocolate. (It happens, tragically.) It's better to go on a first date, get to know a person, and then maybe bust out a good gift on the second date.


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