As Opposed to Those Other, Nicer Circles

Email Submitted by Conrad:

Hello!  I'm damning people to hell today.  Seriously.  I took an online quiz and it told me which circle of hell I'd be sentenced to or if I'd be going to heaven.  It was a hundred true/false questions and was supposedly written by an angel.

It said that I'd be sentenced to heaven but I want to see where it sends other people.  Not my friends, because it would make me sad to spend eternity without them, so I'm using dudes on dating sites.

I entered in all of the answers I thought you'd answer, according to your profile and it sentenced you to the eighth circle, which is not a nice circle at all.  It's where fraudulent people go.  If I were you I'd be less fraudulent.  Join me in paradise!!

Have to go test some other guys.  The ones who get to heaven are ones I;m interested in!



  1. "Hello! I'm damning people to hell today."

    Well, at least she's upbeat about it.

  2. Any circle of hell sounds better than spending time with this person.

  3. Heaven is sounding less and less appealing.

  4. Is it bad that I'm going to google this quiz to find out which circle of hell I'm going to b/c I know I'm so NOT going to heaven ha-ha.

  5. http://www.gotoquiz.com/circles_of_hell

    Here is the quiz if anyone wants to take it. I'm only going to the 2nd circle I really thought I'd be a lot further down. Btw the quiz is really LAME

  6. Ha! I made it to the eighth circle.

    I honestly wonder if she meant it tongue-in-cheek, or if she's seriously relying on the predictive powers of an internet quiz. If it's a joke, I like her sense of humor. If not... scary, man.

  7. Party in the eighth circle! Holler! (<<White girl for "holla".)

  8. Ninth circle baby! WOOOO! (throws up horns)

  9. You are 37% likely to make it to Heaven.

    Surprising. At least the quiz was short.

  10. 62% likely to make it to Heaven.

    "Here you come to the circle of the gluttons, the avaricious, and the gloomy. The gloomy remains under a river gurgling in sorrow.[...]"

    Fifth circle. Blub.

  11. that was the dumbest quiz I have taken.


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