And Then I Never Heard from Him Again

E-mail Submitted by Gerard:

Hey Gerard.

My username's an interesting story.  I think around first or second grade, I started collecting the hair and discarded nails of my classmates.  I remember always thinking that it was for a personal archive or museum.

It became a habit, and now I have a small library of hair and nails from friends, family, and boyfriends.  I even have hair from a couple of famous people (I think!).  My username's therefore a kind of combination of two nicknames I've been called that refer to that hobby.  It's weird but harmless.  Will I ask you for hair?  Probably.  Not anything more than that (nails, skin, bone) unless you're willing to donate it.

My collection's all kept in alcohol so it's not germy or anything gross.  I don't usually show it to people unless they ask to see it.



  1. Aaaaand what's her username?

  2. I can't help but wonder what her user name was.

  3. Would a tooth count?

  4. How many discarded nails are found in a classroom to collect?

    Would she date a bald guy who bites his nails because he would have nothing to offer her?

  5. "Oh no. Here comes the bag of nails."

  6. Theory on her username: DamnI'mDisgusting

  7. "I don't usually show it to people unless they ask to see it."... maybe Patricia oughta revise that to be, "I don't usually tell people about it unless they find out first."

  8. @Howie: That bald guy still has pubes, right? Maybe back hair? Toenails? Torn cuticles? Doesn't sound like she's picky.

    I bet she's gonna go all Jurassic Park on this shit and clone people.

  9. This is a pretty big missed opportunity for a "I've got a bone for you" joke.

  10. My theory is that her username is: imakeuprandomcraptosaytoboystogetareaction.


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