Zero to Racist in 10 Seconds

Story Submitted by Ben:

Gayle and I had just met up for the first time and were walking to a nice cafe when she commented on how dark my skin was.  She asked, "Is that a natural tan, or do you go tanning?"

I laughed and said, "Neither.  I'm half Indian."

She replied, "Hiawatha?  Sitting Bull?  Want some wampum?  Oh ee oh ee oh!" and giggled.

I said, "My family's from Himachal Pradesh."

"That in North Dakota?"

I stared at this idiot and said, "It's in India."

For the first time since we met, she gave something some thought and said, "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean what I said before about Hiawatha and Sitting Bull."

"It's okay."

"What I meant to say was, 'Gandha!  Brahmi!  Vishnu!'  Right?"

I replied, "Right."

It must have been obvious that I was blowing her off from that point, because she said, "Sorry.  Did I mispronounce one of your gods?"

I stopped walking and asked her, "Are you trying to be offensive?"

She said, "Whoa there, Tanto.  I'm just asking a question.  Just because I don't know the answer doesn't make me racist, okay?"

Racist, ignorant, or just plain idiot, I didn't care.  I no longer wanted anything to do with Gayle, and after a short lunch out of politeness, we parted ways forever.


  1. "Whoa there, Tanto."

    God almighty.

  2. why were you polite to her after that? She obviously didn't deserve it.

  3. The OP has far more patience than I would've given. Perhaps he values being polite for its own sake, even if it was of no apparent benefit.

    I probably would've turned around and left right after "Tonto". K

  4. OP's date: "Did I insult the wrong culture? My bad, let me give it another try!"

  5. I feel so bad for overly polite people who put themselves through dates like this when it'd make so much more sense to tell them to piss off. :-/

  6. I would have walked after the "Tanto" comment.

    And yeah, she was definitely being offensive.

  7. Man, even my racist dad would have been like, "Whoa, slow down, girl. You're laying it on a little thick for a first date!"

  8. Once again, Nikki is correct. That's third date stuff right there.

  9. You've gotta eaaaaase into the racism, drop little hints of it here and there, starting, as Peter said, on the third date at the earliest. It's subtler that way.

  10. Shit, reading it a second time I'm still laughing. She's got to be the spawn of Louie and Roseanne Bar.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.