Why Menus Were Invented

Story Submitted by Drew:

Linda and I were out to dinner at our first meeting.  We were at a steakhouse.  She was very quiet, and I had been trying my best to nudge her into conversation when the waitress came by to take our orders.

I ordered a portobello burger, and Linda asked for a quesadilla.

The waitress said, "I don't think we have quesadillas here."

Linda asked, "Can you check?  I really want one."

"We don't have quesadillas.  Sorry.  If you want something Mexican, I can recommend–"

Linda asked, "Do you have any sushi?"

The waitress stared at her and glanced at me.  I said, "I think it's more of an American type of place.  Chicken, burgers, steaks, and salads."

Linda looked down for a moment then asked the waitress, "Do you have any sushi?"

The waitress said, "No, sorry.  Just what we have on the menu."

Linda said, "Oh..." and looked at the closed menu on the table in front of her.

The waitress asked, "Do you need a few extra minutes?  I can come back."

Linda shook her head and asked, "Do you have teriyaki bamboo?"

The waitress said, "Just what we have in the menu.  Sorry.  I'll come back."  She left.

Linda looked down at the menu but didn't open it.  I said, "Why don't you order up a salad or some seafood?  I think they had some good choices."  I reached for her menu to open it.

She said, "Touch my menu, and I'll get violent."  I froze.  She went on, "You have no idea how pissed off I am, right now.

I asked, "Why are you pissed off?"

"I want what I want.  Why can't they just make it?"

"Linda, it's a steakhouse.  I asked you if a steakhouse would be okay, and you said it would be."

"I remember what I said, Drew.  I'm not a child.  I just thought that steakhouses had actual variety instead of just shitty steak."  She shoved the menu across the table at me, where it collided with my bread plate.

When the waitress came back, Linda ordered a side of fries and nothing else.  We didn't say a word to each other for the rest of the date, and as soon as we split the check, I was out of there.


  1. Wow. Spoiled brat much???

  2. Although I will say, a lot of steakhouses have quesadillas as an appetizer. Apparently not this one, and shorty needed an attitude check.

    Done now.

  3. OP's date needs to learn to be nicer to people who are going to make/handle her food. I've heard some pretty nasty tales from waiter friends about what happens to rude customers' food.

    1. I'm nice to the wait staff because I'm a decent person, not because I worry about them tampering with my food. If I thought that the staff would tamper with my food -- or anyone's -- I wouldn't eat at that restaurant; that's just plain unprofessional.

  4. She asked for sushi. In a steakhouse.
    Is anyone really that dumb?

  5. ^^ I don't care how rude a customer is, they are paying to eat that food; no one has the right to tamper with it.

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Trying to be as generous as possible, there are a few alternate possibilities:
    - She could be illiterate, and her coping mechanism for it is being a jerk
    - She could be legally blind without glasses, and she covers it up by being a jerk
    - She could be the sort of person who doesn't understand that food comes from somewhere (cf. the guy who didn't understand that chicken was not vegetarian), and she covers for her lack of knowledge by being a jerk
    ... you get the idea. KF

  8. ^^ I agree with Baku on the food tampering

  9. While I agree with Baku as well, that doesn't mean that our morals and motivations extend to those in the kitchen.

  10. I agree witht theMediator. She should be nicer to those handling your food, you never know who is above spitting in it and who isn't. That doesn't make it ok, but it DOES happen.

  11. her* Derpy derp.


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