Waiter, There's a Hair on My Date

Story Submitted by Sean:

Colleen and I met up for lunch at my favorite place.  I was really looking forward to meeting her, as she was a woman who appeared to have her life in order.  She had a job, a strong bond with her family, and didn't seem to have that much baggage, although how much can you really tell about someone from online?

In one of my messages to her, I said, just off the cuff, that I liked it when women wore their hair down.  She showed up to our date with a smile and her brown hair down, and I'm not kidding around when I say that she was probably the most attractive woman to ever give me the time of day.

The place had a little water cooler for patrons to grab their own cups of water.  I filled up cups and brought them to our table.  She took a gulp, gagged, and spat the mouthful into my face.

Neighboring diners took notice and stared at us.  I wiped my face with a napkin and asked her what the problem was.

She looked into her cup and held it towards me.  "I tasted a hair."

I took the cup and looked into it as she dabbed her mouth off with a napkin.  I saw nothing but water, and handed it back to her.  "You didn't have to spit it into my face."

She replied, "You didn't have to stick a hair in my water, asshole."

"I didn't."

She grit her teeth and hissed, "Then how did it get there?"

"Maybe it's from your head or maybe you imagined it."

She trembled and barked, "My hair never falls out, and I didn't imagine anything."

I took a sip of water and spat it into her face.  She yelped, wiped her face with the sleeves of her sweater, and stood up.

I yelled, "Sorry.  There was a hair in mine, too!"

She stormed out and I had lunch on my own.  Thankfully.


  1. A double dose of douches deserving each other.

  2. Ah, I thought his response was funny. TERRIBLY immature, but VERY funny.

  3. Wow, I don't think it was necessary to stoop to her level.

  4. To the people who think his action was immature, how would you handle it? I'm glad he did that.

  5. ^ If she took a shit in his coffee cup, should he do it back?
    Have you ever heard the expression: 'to take the higher road'

    or what about: 'it takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight'...

    He was a douchetard, very immature and will probably have many MANY lunches on his own.

  6. ^ Howie pretty much summed it up.

  7. No need to lunch on your own after just one little spat....But when he spat to, well, THEN it was over.


    Accusing him and calling him an asshole {at least as HE heard it -noting the "He Said / She Said codicil } was harsh, no doubt, but stooping to her level was wrong and guaranteed that his time with "probably the most attractive woman to ever give me the time of day" was about to be over.

    That they let you, after the water works, continue dinning in that establishment, alone or otherwise, amazes me.... Oh, er, well.... Burger King?

  8. I don't care if there was a turd in her cup, she could have spit back into the cup or on the floor. People are just insane!

  9. Yeah, the man's a hero. I'm an ass, but even I don't have the sheer level of testosterone to do that...


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