That's the Last Time I Let Dr. Seuss Write My E-mails

E-mail Submitted by Ann-Louise:

Butch Barnes is my name. Butch Barnes want to know more about you. Butch Barnes works as a mechanic. Butch Barnes has a kid already and wants more.

Butch Barnes wants a woman. Butch Barnes thinks that a woman is just what Butch Barnes needs. Butch Barnes likes women who do what they're told and who don't cheat. Butch Barnes does not like women who cheat. Butch Barnes is tired of games.

Butch Barnes likes your profile and wants to know more. Butch Barnes wonders if you're a natural blonde. Butch Barnes likes natural blondes. Butch Barnes likes blonde or no pubes. Butch Barnes smokes big cigars and will treat you like a woman deserves to be treated. Butch Barnes has no place in his life for cheaters, liars, and postmen. Butch Barnes likes the natural way most.

Butch Barnes seeks Bitch Barnes.

Butch Barnes


  1. and postmen

    Then how does he get his mail?

    Also, I find it INCREDIBLY appropriate that his name is "Butch."

  2. I think this is my favorite sketchy email on here. Ever.

  3. I want Butch Barnes to learn about pronouns.

    Social skills wouldn't hurt either.


  5. Every time I try reading this out loud, I can't make it past the second paragraph without busting out. Happy Valentine's Day!

  6. Those postmen, they're just not natural enough for Butch Barnes.


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